Dwight Howard apologizes to Orlando from Hollywood home
- Howard makes his return to Orlando after he was traded to the Lakers last offseason
- On the move%2C Howard apologized to Orlando for the way it was handled
- Kobe looms over the Lakers%2C but Howard says he appreciates Bryant
LOS ANGELES — The famous view on the road to Dwight Howard's house in Bel Air is nothing short of spectacular, the Hollywood Hills below unfolding into the valley where stars have come and gone.
On a clear day, it has been said of this classic route on Mulholland Drive, you can see all the way to Canoga Park, some 14 miles away. And on this day, Howard — the Los Angeles Lakers center and aspiring actor whose dreams of becoming an icon had so much to do with him coming here — can see all the way to Orlando.
The big man who was so beloved there returns Tuesday for the first time since he was traded seven months ago, this time as the villain. In an exclusive interview with USA TODAY Sports, Howard acknowledged that this script — the one that included twists and turns and battered his once-sparkling image — should have been written differently.
"In Orlando, I handled a lot of stuff the wrong way," he said, sitting at his kitchen table. "If any of those people in Orlando are upset with how I did it, I apologize for the way I handled it and the way it was handled in the media.
"I really just got caught up in wanting to please everybody else. I really love that city. That was the hardest thing to do was to leave that city because I basically grew up there. That was my whole life. Orlando was it. I did not want to leave all that behind — the city, just everything about it. The fans. But I wanted a change for my life. I just felt like there was something else out there for me."
The new scenery isn't the only change that has taken place for Howard.
These past 15 months — from the trade demands in Orlando to the April back surgery from which he says he returned too soon to the public relations disaster that turned fans against him and led to the loss of sponsorship deals with McDonald's and Gatorade — convinced Howard that he needed to look at himself.
"There are a lot of things about me that have changed," said Howard, a 27-year-old Atlanta native who was drafted first overall out of high school in 2004. "I'm becoming a better man because of the stuff that has happened to me this last year and a half. Everybody goes through stuff like this. Even though I'm going through it where everybody in the world can see it, I'm happy that it's happening.
"If it didn't happen, I'd be stuck in my ways. I would never change, and then it would be a lot worse. For all this stuff to happen, for me to sit back and see and evaluate myself and what I could've done better and realize that I needed to make a change, I'm getting better. I'm growing up. I'm maturing."
And that, Howard made clear, includes taking responsibility for his part in the saga that has been termed "Dwightmare." Howard was hardly the first NBA superstar to seek a trade, but the way he handled it made an uncomfortable situation worse.
His indecisiveness didn't help, nor did the seemingly endless stream of stories quoting anonymous sources speaking on his behalf that dominated the news cycle for months. The tipping point came in April, when Howard hugged then-Magic Stan Van Gundy in front of cameras and reporters, not knowing the coach had just told the media that his big man wanted him fired. Howard, who had taken the Magic to the NBA Finals in 2009 and the Eastern Conference finals in 2010, said he should have spent more time separating fact from fiction to those who mattered most.
"Whenever something happened, I should've let my teammates know. I should've said, 'OK, this is what's going on. I know what's being said, but this is how I really feel,' " Howard says. "Or, 'Hey, Coach, this is what's being said, but this is how I feel,' instead of just letting everything pile on and me not saying anything.
"I just felt at the time like, 'I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to sit back and let it unfold.' By doing that, everybody was getting mixed signals. They're hearing this on TV, or I might make a quote about this and they twist it and turn it into something else. Now you've got everybody like, 'What is he doing?'… It was story after story after story start coming out saying it was me saying this and me saying that, and I'm like, 'I never said none of this stuff.' I could tell some of that stuff started to bother my teammates, but I didn't say nothing because I'm like, 'They know that I'm not saying this.' And it just kept piling on and piling on."
That much hasn't changed. During an interview with a Los Angeles television reporter that aired March 4, Howard's comment that the Magic were "full of people nobody wanted" and that he "led that team with a smile" drew criticism from former teammates Jameer Nelson, Rashard Lewis and J.J. Redick. But unlike last time, Howard was quick to clarify his comments.
"My whole thing that I wanted to get out about the situation … was just the fact that we were underdogs," he said. "We were underrated. We were the team that nobody cared about. The only people who supported us were the people in Orlando. Nobody cared if we won or lost, and I hated that. I hated the fact that we hardly had any TV games. I hated the fact that we weren't known. I hated it to the point where I was (upset) that I was the only player that people knew from Orlando."
Life in Los Angeles
If the "Map of the Stars" that can be purchased all over town here is the unofficial record of local relevance, Howard has yet to truly arrive in Los Angeles. His leased nine-bedroom, 14-bathroom, 11,000-square foot home, which features a main entranceway with a life-sized Lego replica of his head and shoulders given to him by Ellen DeGeneres, did not make the map.
In that regard, he's no Magic Johnson just yet. Or Lamar Odom, for that matter, though his union with Khloe Kardashian certainly helped the former Lakers forward, who's now with the Clippers, get on the list. As for Kobe Bryant, his teammate who may as well have a temple built in his honor down on Sunset Boulevard with how he's worshiped by the Laker Nation? He's not on the list, either, but only because he lives more than an hour away in Newport Beach, Calif.
With Howard's free agency looming and this Lakers team that so many saw as title contenders pushing to reach the playoffs, the notion that he may not spend his next few years as a Los Angeles A-lister is stunning, considering the fanfare that surrounded his arrival. Howard, even with the Lakers' recent successful stretch in which they've won 16 of 22 games and finally reached playoff position in the Western Conference, is still taking the L.A. confidential approach in discussing his future.
"The only thing that matters is right now," he says.
Yet while it's no secret that Howard wanted to join the Brooklyn Nets back when he was asking out of Orlando last season, he has always longed to be in Los Angeles as well. This backdrop is more than big enough to match his big dreams, the ones that he wakes up to every day inside his bedroom in Bel Air. And while the mirror on his wall says nothing about what's in his future, it speaks volumes about his true state of mind.
"Be an icon. Be iconic," one sheet of paper that's taped to his mirror reads in black sharpie with his writing.
A list of Howard's goals for this season that are mostly out of reach also hangs nearby — a championship, an 80% showing at the free throw line (he's shooting 47.8%), a fourth defensive player of the year award. There are vows to "dominate every game, every practice" to "play free" every night and play "110% every minute." Howard may very well be making a Lakers list for next season, though, as long as he's convinced that the problems that have plagued them this season can be resolved.
When asked what needed to occur for him to feel good about re-signing this summer, Howard cited his most valued factor — winning — but declined to go further. As for the relationship with Bryant that has been rocky at times but appears to be improved recently, Howard insisted he can be happy in this climate where Bryant steals so much of the spotlight.
"I just use everything that has happened this year as a time for me to humble myself, to see how things could be (in the future)," Howard says. "Watching Kobe, as far as like everybody (saying), 'Kobe did this. He's the greatest in the world, the best at everything,' there's nothing ever said bad about Kobe. As a player, that's what you want.
"I don't take it as, 'Oh, I've got to talk about Kobe today (when asked questions about him by news reporters).' I'm like, 'How can a guy like Kobe, who's got five rings, got every accomplishment in the world, how can he sit up here and not allow all these great things that people say about him stop him from being who he is?' ... The more (good things) people say about him, the harder he works.
"That's a champion's mentality. He's at the top of everything, and he wants to stay on the top, so he's not going to ever let what people are saying stop him or make him want to quit on what he has already accomplished. I admire that."
Does he stay or go?
Bryant's future is something for Howard to consider, considering Bryant's contract expires in the same summer of 2014 that the Miami Heat's LeBron James can opt out of his deal and possibly join the Lakers. While Bryant has said he will retire after next season — he told talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel on Thursday that he would retire "soon" — the 34-year-old who is third in the league in scoring at 27.7 points a game could decide to play longer.
Coach Mike D'Antoni, whose ability to keep Howard involved in the Lakers offense down the stretch could play a part in the outcome, said recently that Howard has been in a better place mentally since the All-Star break.
"I think there (are) a lot of factors — getting in better shape, getting more comfortable, accepting things the way they are, whether you like them or not, that's the way it is," D'Antoni said. "(It's) understanding that, 'OK, we'll figure out everything else after the season is over, but in the meantime I'm going to play hard and be comfortable.' You came here to win, and let's do it."
Just as Steve Nash's leg fracture that forced the Lakers point guard to miss seven weeks was a huge factor in their early struggles, Howard's slow and painful road back from back surgery has played a significant part.
The rigors of his recovery are often forgotten, as Howard — an athlete who once dunked on a 12-foot rim during All-Star weekend in 2009 — spent five months debilitated after the surgery and returned to the floor one month after he had resumed running on a treadmill. He keeps a video on his phone as a reminder of how far he has come — Howard being applauded in his doctor's office for doing a half-inch calf raise while holding onto the wall.
"Did I come back too early? I did," said Howard, who has averaged 16.2 points, 12.3 rebounds and 2.4 blocks a game after returning late in the preseason and also has been playing with a torn labrum in his right shoulder since early January. "But I was just trying to do whatever I can to help this team win."
Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak, who had the same surgery as Howard twice during his playing days, said there is no concern on the Lakers' part if they are able to re-sign him.
A full recovery, regardless of where Howard's future lies, is what he is hoping for. Healing on all fronts.
"You go from high school, to the NBA, and you're thrown in the fire," Howard said. "You've got to learn on the fly. It takes time. So I'm happy that everything happened. Some things I wish wouldn't have happened the way they happened. But at the end of the day, every star, every person that been iconic, has gone through a time in their lives where it was just bad. Everybody. It just made them better."