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Final Word: Splitting chores is the knife in a marriage

Craig Wilson, USA TODAY
  • A Norwegian study says divorce rates are higher among couples who share housework
  • Craig and Jack have shared them for 30 years: One cooks, one cleans
  • But the real question: Should knives go up or down in the dishwasher?

A recent study out of Norway shows that divorce rates there are about 50% higher among couples who shared the housework. That's compared with those in which women did most of the chores.

I'm not sure what's going on in Norway, but how can that be? How can sharing the housework be a bad thing? You would think just the opposite. Everyone does a little something, and everyone is happy. Evidently not.

And now along comes another study from Bosch, the high-end dishwasher people, saying that more than 40% of couples fight over how to load the dishwasher.

The key there, of course, is to not share the same chore.

Over the almost 30 years I've lived with my partner, Jack, we have worked out a system whereby our paths rarely cross when it comes to housework.

He cooks. I clean. It works.

Not to say we haven't had our dishwasher disputes.

The Bosch people also report that almost 40% of couples argue over whether to point the knives up or down when putting them in the dishwasher.

It's true. I'm a point-up kind of guy. Get those blades clean, baby! Jack is a point-down guy. Save those fingers. The Bosch marriage counselor — yes, there is one, and her name is Dahlia — says the points should go down.

Fine. I get the point.

I also rinse. Evidently, you're not supposed to, and 61% of couples fight over this, too. I used to think it odd to clean the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, but over the years, I began rinsing first. Evidently, you're supposed to leave some food for the soap to cling to.

Good to know with the holidays just around the corner.

We had a dinner party the other night. I was feeling, I don't know, foolish? Old-fashioned? Domestic?

I set the table with my great-grandmother's best china, French Limoges with gold-leaf trim, and topped it off with the good silver and crystal so thin it hums when you rub the rim with your finger (something I still do).

The table looked great, but when everything was said and everyone was gone, it all needed to be washed and rinsed and dried by a human being. Me.

I did it alone. Jack went to bed. Marriage saved.

E-mail cwilson@usatoday.com

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