Princes William and Harry: No more 'stiff upper lip' about mental health

Maintaining a "stiff upper lip" is as much a part of the British psyche as "keep calm and carry on" — but in a new magazine interview, Princes William and Harry say doing so should not come at the expense of your mental health.

"For too long there has been a taboo about talking about some important issues," William said in an exclusive, joint interview with his brother with CALMzine, published Monday. "If you were anxious; it’s because you were weak. If you couldn’t cope with whatever life threw at you, it’s because you were failing. Successful, strong people don’t suffer like that, do they? But of course – we all do. It’s just that few of us speak about it."

The elder prince, who Facetimed with Lady Gaga this week on how to remove that stigma, credited English musician Stormzy for going public with his own depression, saying that kind of honesty "will help young men feel that it’s a sign of strength to talk about and look after your mind as well as your body. There may be a time and a place for the ‘Stiff upper lip’, but not at the expense of your health."

Harry pointed to the lopsided sense of unity in the military as a place he hopes to bring about change.

"The military is a complex picture as on the one hand there is an incredible sense of brotherhood and belonging between you and your mates. You’ll do anything for each other, scrub each other’s boots, drag each other through the mud, anything," he notes. "Yet, on the other hand, this support for each other hasn’t, up to now, included looking after how your buddy is feeling and thinking about things. When you’re serving, you look after your physical health, your training and your equipment, but not your head."

By doing so, Harry says, members of the military can be role models for the rest of society.

"Hopefully, if men see soldiers talking about mental health, it will give them the confidence to do the same," he suggested. "At the end of the day, we all want to be as physically fit and robust as possible; keeping on top of our mental fitness will not only prepare us better for the days ahead, it will make us better people too."

William, a former rescue helicopter pilot, conceded, "Sometimes, emotions have to be put to one side to get the job done but if you have been through an especially traumatic or stressful situation, it is essential to talk it through after the event. If you don’t acknowledge how you feel it will only bottle up, and could reassert itself later as illness."

Earlier in the day, Harry confirmed to Britain's Telegraph that's exactly what happened to him after he spent half of his life trying to stifle the emotions brought on by the 1997 death of his mother when he was 12 — to the point that he was "very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions."

Eventually, William and a few trusted friends convinced Harry that it wasn't normal to think he could go through all of that unscathed and that he needed to deal with those emotions. The younger prince described the process as "20 years of not thinking about it and then two years of total chaos," but said that he is now in a "good place."

William told CALMzine that he and his wife, Duchess Kate, are hopeful that their toddler children and their generation won't have to struggle the way Harry did.

"Catherine and I are clear that we want both George and Charlotte to grow up feeling able to talk about their emotions and feelings," he emphasized.  "Over the past year, we have visited a number of schools together where we have been amazed listening to children talk about some quite difficult subjects in a really clear and emotionally articulate way – something most adults would struggle with. Seeing this has really given me hope that things are changing and that there is a generation coming up who find it normal to talk openly about their emotions. Emotional intelligence is key for us all to deal with the complexities of life and relationships."

Read the full interview on the CALMzine site.