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Miss America Pageant

Miss Missouri's road to the Miss America pageant

Maeve McDermott
USATODAY
Miss Missouri Erin O'Flaherty, 23, laughs backstage at a Miss America pageant rehearsal on Sept. 8, 2016.

In the headlines, she's Miss America's first openly gay contestant. But strolling in front of Atlantic City's Boardwalk Hall, Miss Missouri Erin O'Flaherty  is just a gal in a track jacket and sneakers, jokingly standing on her toes in front of the boardwalk's pageant queen statue, the crown almost touching her head.

"Don't curse me!" she laughs.

Spending a morning with O’Flaherty reveals a cheerful 23-year-old, with all the poise of a "pageant queen" yet none of the stereotypical diva tendencies. When the sun peeked out of the clouds during an outdoor filming session, she reassured her team that she didn’t need sunglasses and kept the cameras rolling. She navigated a wooden floor snagging her red evening gown during a fitting with similar ease.

Onstage rehearsing a brassy show tune before the preliminaries Thursday, O'Flaherty's 5’5’’ seems twice as tall, projecting Broadway-size confidence as her family in the stands cheered her on.

Erin O'Flaherty sings during the talent portion of the third night of preliminary competition in the Miss America pageant in Atlantic City, N.J.

Pageants have become a family affair for O'Flaherty, who's inspired two sisters and a cousin to start competing since she started four years ago. But her own path to pageantry was less conventional; instead of joining a sport or pledging Greek life during her first year at her alma mater, the University of Central Florida, she found the pageant's collegiate chapter instead.

“I entered the Miss America organization because I went to a school where I didn’t know anybody and I needed to make friends," she said. “It was a semester-long involvement that I knew would give me friends as driven as I was.”

Little did she know that one semester would lead to a four-year journey of scholarships, a state title and a trip to the Miss America stage.

O'Flaherty’s familyreaffirmed that Miss America is more than just a pageant for their star competitor.

“About five years ago, she came to me and said, ‘You know what, I’m going to be Miss UCF," said her grandmother Beth Barnes . "And I said, ‘What? In this long line of feminists, you’re going to enter a beauty pageant?’ And she said, ‘Yeah!’"

This doesn't sound out of the ordinary to O'Flaherty. “I always say if I can make my mom a believer, and she is a total feminist, that anyone who understands what this organization is about can fall in love with it,” she laughed.

Family support helped O'Flaherty navigate one of the more challenging experiences in her life, coming out at age 18.

Miss Missouri Erin O'Flaherty tells her coming out story: 'It was really hard'

"It was really hard. But ultimately I knew I had to do it," she said. "My family was absolutely nothing but supportive and I knew that when I decided to come out and when I was ready, it would be that way.

"In a way, I wish it would've been harder, because some people have it so bad, and I never really had a terrible coming-out," she continued. "It was very easy for me because of the people I was surrounded by."​

O'Flaherty recognizes that while her coming-out journey was a positive one, that's not the reality for many LGBT youths, a cause that she's made the cornerstone of her Miss America platform, promoting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as well as the Trevor Project, a crisis intervention and suicide prevention hotline for at-risk youth.

Her focus on suicide prevention is rooted in a personal loss. "It was inspired by the loss of one of my great friends when I was 13," she said. "When I was navigating the grieving process, I realized that there were warning signs and risk factors that were there that I completely missed."

That's something O'Flaherty is working to change among her younger peers, hoping "to open up a conversation.”

Erin O'Flaherty during a backstage dress fitting.

Citing the "overwhelmingly supportive" reaction she's received from the public, O'Flaherty hopes that her presence at the Miss America competition can send a message of hope.

"I would tell (viewers) who may be struggling to come into their own that their life may be challenging but there are thousands of people who support them, and I am one of them," she said.

At Sunday's competition, O'Flaherty will get her chance to introduce herself on one of America's most storied stages. And as she describes it, the night will only get easier after Miss America's most nerve-racking moment: "The very first time we step on stage during that opening number.

“It has nothing to do with the competition, but it’s just an a-ha moment, like ‘Oh my gosh, I’m on the Miss America stage,'" she said. "We all think about that for years.”

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