Advertisement

Ranking all 32 NFL teams by likability

All kinds of things affect the way we think about other people’s teams. Fans, for example. As a neutral, you can’t like a team if you don’t enjoy being around its fans. Uniforms, too. Hard for neutrals to root for an eyesore. Good ownership is also important, and the team is question has to be fun to watch. Not necessarily good, just fun. Surprising. Interesting.

Mix all that stuff up and you come out with the neutral’s likability rankings. The order goes from most likable, to least…

1. Green Bay Packers

(AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

(AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

Unless you’re a Bears fan, everyone loves the Packers — a massive feat considering how consistently good they are. The small town, rich in history, publicly-owned franchise represents the best of sports, all while Aaron Rodgers’ scintillating ability makes them so much fun to watch. It’s hard to argue this team belongs anywhere other than first on this list.

2. Buffalo Bills

The Bills made a solid claim to be number one on this list. The NFL’s lovable losers benefit from the unlikability of its divisional rivals (*cough cough* Patriots), and the team’s diehard fans are always good for a few hilarious videos a season.

3. Miami Dolphins

Aside from Dolphins being generally likable animals, Miami is just one of those teams that has a fun vibe around it. Remember when Ricky Williams ran for a million yards? Or when Dan Marino threw for a bazillion yards? Or when they went 11-5 in 2008 running the wildcat offense? And besides, they were in an Ace Ventura movie. Major props for that.

4. Arizona Cardinals

Mark J. Rebilas/USA TODAY Sports

Mark J. Rebilas/USA TODAY Sports

Hard not to like a team that has Larry Fitzgerald as the face of its franchise.

5. Kansas City Chiefs

Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

A strong fanbase despite a lack of relative success counts for a lot around these parts. The Chiefs have that in abundance.

6. New York Giants

Might be a bit lower on this list were it not for Odell Beckham’s consistently mind-bending catches.

7. Detroit Lions

Never good enough as a team to make other fans feel threatened, but they have a rich history and benefited from years of two fantasy football all-stars: Matt Stafford and, of course, Calvin Johnson.

8. New Orleans Saints

The Saints would’ve been first on this list not long ago, but any team winning a Super Bowl provokes jealousy, and Bountygate certainly didn’t help matters, either.

9. Seattle Seahawks

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Might be a touch high on this list considering how good they are, but the 12th man makes every Seattle game so much more fun to watch.

10. Cincinnati Bengals

Pretty harmless, all things considered.

11. San Francisco 49ers

Have lots of good history working in their favor, and Chip Kelly will at the very least make them fun to watch this year.

12. Denver Broncos

(AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)

(AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)

Sending Peyton Manning out on a high was a pretty likable thing to do.

13. Cleveland Browns

The team’s utter disfunction even starts to grind on the neutrals.

14. Atlanta Falcons

Generally likable, but the pumping-in-fake-crowd-noise thing was pretty strange.

15. Carolina Panthers

(AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

(AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

Cam Newton divides opinion, so between all his haters and defenders, this seems like a good spot for Carolina.

16. Chicago Bears

The team’s always-classy uniforms balance out whatever negative effects Jay Cutler brings to the likability rankings.

17. Minnesota Vikings

Safe to say, we’re firmly in “meh” territory right now.

18. Tennessee Titans

Meh.

19. Houston Texans

Meh.

slack-imgs-2

20. Jacksonville Jaguars

Meh.

21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Meh.

22. Oakland Raiders

When the Raiders are good they’re the NFL team everyone loves to hate. But the Raiders are not good, and haven’t been for a while.

23. San Diego Chargers

Would have probably been in the “meh” zone were they not primed to bolt for Los Angeles.

24. Indianapolis Colts

(AP)

(AP)

The Colts get 13 seasons of Peyton Manning, then suck for a year, then get rewarded with another franchise quarterback like Andrew Luck? Unlikable!

25. Baltimore Ravens

Who isn’t tired of the “Is Joe Flacco elite?” debate?

26. New York Jets

Would be lower if they were better.

27. Pittsburgh Steelers

It must be great being a Steelers fan. Really great. To everyone else, their loyal fans basking in the glory of its consistently well-run franchise is just kind of — what’s the word? — annoying.

28. Philadelphia Eagles

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Hard to get behind a team whose fans once booed Santa Claus, and that has an overpaid quarterback spouting unreasonable demands.

29. Los Angeles Rams

(AP)

(AP)

Ditching for Los Angeles after years of a bad on-field product, only to point the finger at fans for not showing up and leaving them with a hefty bill for the pleasure was a ruthlessly low blow.

30. Dallas Cowboys

Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

Outside of Texas — well, Dallas really — America’s Team has been plummeting down the rankings recently, especially amid all the Greg Hardy stuff last season.

31. New England Patriots

bradyanimation

The coach is an evil genius, they drafted one of the best quarterbacks ever in the sixth round, and the fans are never shy about boasting about it all. Only once since 2001 have the Patriots failed to win more than 10 games, and that year — in 2002 — they won nine. Absurd. Four Super Bowl wins plus two more finals over the same period along with a host of different scandals means Pats fans can count themselves lucky, very lucky, that they’re only second-last on this list.

32. Washington Redskins

South_Park_Season_18_Premiere_Redskins_NFL_GoodellBot_Dan_Snyder_Kirk_Cousins

So much to get through it’s tough to know where to even begin. How about with this one: When people across the country and, indeed, the world have a moral objection to the very name of your team on the grounds that its racist yet you still refuse to change it, despite pleas from the group in question and the President of the United States, ranking last shouldn’t come as a surprise.

More NFL