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Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl Sandberg calls on working dads in equality fight

Jessica Durando
USA TODAY
Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook

Women, stop trying to be perfect moms. Dads, it's OK to talk about your kids at the office.

Those are some of the recommendations from LeanIn.Org, a non-profit co-founded by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg that focuses on empowering women in their careers.

This year, the organization is capitalizing on the annual "Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day" to talk to parents and companies about improving work/life balance.

This issue—often talked about, rarely solved—is part of a national conversation about why women still lag men in leadership positions and pay, decades after the civil rights movement.

One explanation for this imbalance is that working mothers generally can't lean on the same support as working fathers. And they place a higher value on spending time with children, a choice that might lead them to bypass job promotions or leave competitive careers altogether.

To right that imbalance, companies and parents have to change their view of what it means to be a working mother or father, says LeanIn.

"First of all, we need to pay women fairly for the work they do. We also need to expect the same contributions from men as we do from women in the workplace. Just as women do more at home, they do more 'office housework' as well: taking notes, serving on committees, mentoring others," Sandberg says. "Finally, we need to reward and embrace women when they push for results instead of calling them 'too aggressive' or 'shrill.'"

Sandberg urges companies to be more flexible for both working moms and dads.

"We have to recognize that people are both workers and a lot of them are also parents. We need to make work, work for parents. As a society we don't do that well," Sandberg said.

The #LeanInTogether campaign is encouraging firms, including ESPN, Zappos, Salesforce, TaskRabbit, Facebook and Clorox, to bring their kids to work on April 23. It's giving activities and tips on improving equality. The U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce is also teaming up with LeanIn.org, connecting 3.2 million Hispanic businesses, 250 Fortune 500 companies and 200 local chambers.

"Parenthood changes you and we want to recognize and appreciate that your children come first," said Javier Palomarez, president and CEO of the U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. "It is one day out of 365 days that we remind ourselves of the important roles parents play. We should frankly talk about it everyday."

At ESPN, some employees Thursday will sit on a panel called Living Your Professional Dream during lunch for the kids to hear. It will be facilitated by SportsCenter anchor David Lloyd, and Sandberg has also taped a message to be aired for the children as well.

"If the people who are running companies are focused on being not just great workers but great parents, we'll provide more flexibility to everyone," said Sandberg.

'WE OVERWORK OUR MOMS AND DADS'

Doyin Richards, 40, of Los Angeles, Calif., left his corporate job at a telecommunications company in 2014 to devote more time to raising his two girls Emiko, 4, and Reiko, 21 months.

Doyin Richards poses with his girls Emiko and Reiko.

The founder of DaddyDoinWork.com says he encountered firsthand how nervous workers, especially men, were about taking family leave.

"I think we talk a big game about family values but we are not a really family-friendly country. We overwork our moms and dads," Doyin said. "The little time we do spend with our kids, we are constantly worrying that our employers may not take us seriously about the amount of time we spend with them. ... We are looked at as not being dependable or the best employees."

He says people are worried about their job security if they spend too much time outside the office, even though they're given vacation days.

Kim Parker, director of social trends research for the Pew Research Center, says fathers are still devoting more time a week to paid work and there is still a large gap in terms of career interruptions between men and women.

"The most important thing for women is that they bear the bulk of the housework and parenting even with 70% in the workforce," Sandberg says. "Imagine if fathers were as active parents as mothers, then the demands of flexibility for our workplace would be increased."

This is something that Doyin, who advocates for changing stations to be installed in men's bathrooms, hopes will continue to progress.

"We don't want to get a medal for doing stuff that we should be doing. I think what we need to do as dads is normalize being involved with our kids," Doyin says. "It is assumed if you are a mom you are actively involved with your kids. We need to get to the point where he's a dad and she's a mom and they are both active.

"We are getting there."

WHY MEN ARE KEY IN THIS FIGHT

Sandberg says it's important that company leaders make a point to talk about the time they spend out of the office with their children to set an example for other employees. Just as she wrote in her book, Lean In, Sandberg still aims to leave the office around 5:30 p.m. to be with her family.

About one-in-five say women's family responsibilities are a major reason there aren't more females in top leadership positions in business and politics, according to a survey by Pew Research Center. The survey of 1,835 randomly selected adults was conducted online Nov. 12-21, 2014.

"Equality begets equality. When kids grow up in equal homes they model it more so," Sandberg says. "As fathers are becoming more active, I think workplaces will become more understanding. That's why men are so important in the fight for equality."

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