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10 of the funniest excuses for missing work

Erika Rawes
The Cheat Sheet

We all have those days where we just don't feel like it. "It" meaning anything and everything. We don't feel like going to work, cleaning, cooking, or doing any of the tasks that responsible adults have to complete on a day-to-day basis. On these types of days, even simple tasks like getting up and finding the remote control, or going and getting a drink from the fridge, sound like strenuous endeavors. Although lazy days are inevitable, we suck it up and push through. Well, most of us do, anyways.

One of the funniest excuses for missing work, according to a CareerBuilder survey? "Employee just put a casserole in the oven."

Have you ever played hooky from work? Well, if you've skipped out on work, you are certainly not the only one. CareerBuilder recently published the results of a survey, which asked employees and employers just how much of a problem workers playing hooky was for them over the past year. The survey found that 28% of employees have faked sick to get out of work over the past 12 months. Why? Well, the No. 1 reason they gave was because they simply didn't feel like going (30%). Some other employees said they faked sick because they "wanted to relax" (29%), which is pretty much the same thing.

Many employers offer Paid Time Off (PTO) and sick leave programs. According to the Society for Human Resource Management, "Forty-two percent of organizations offer paid vacation leave through a paid time off plan, which includes sick, vacation and personal days all in one plan, and 46% offer a stand-alone paid vacation plan."

Surprisingly, half of the workers surveyed said they have a PTO program, which allows them to to take off work for any reason as long as they don't go over their allotted number of PTO days. But, in spite of having PTO days, nearly one-fourth of these workers (23%) said they still feel obligated to make up some sort of excuse for taking the day off.

Over this past year, workers got pretty creative with their excuses. Here are some of the most ridiculous ones per the CareerBuilder survey:

1. "Employee just put a casserole in the oven."
2. "Employee's plastic surgery for enhancement purposes needed some 'tweaking' to get it just right."
3. "Employee was sitting in the bathroom and her feet and legs fell asleep. When she stood up, she fell and broke her ankle."
4. "Employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning."
5. "Employee woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it."
6. "Employee had a 'lucky night' and didn't know where he was."
7. "Employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn't get out."
8. "Employee had a gall stone they wanted to heal holistically."
9. "Employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry."
10. "Employee accidentally got on a plane."

The result?

While many employees get away with their silly excuses, some do not. How do they get caught? Oftentimes, employees get tongue-tied after employers call or ask for doctor's notes. Some tenacious employers (15%) actually report driving by their employees' homes, and a surprising 24% have caught their employee lying by looking on social media sites and finding contradictory posts or tweets.

Around one in five employers (18%) say they've actually fired an employee for using a fake excuse. So, maybe it's wise to think twice before telling your employer that you're stuck on Saturn, or that you locked your house keys in your car and your car keys in your house.

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The Cheat Sheet is a USA TODAY content partner offering financial news and commentary. Its content is produced independently of USA TODAY.

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