Kids confront next generation of bullies

CINCINNATI — Don't feed the bully.

That's the message Jim Bisenius hammered home to hundreds of elementary students sitting on a Lakota school's gym floor in rare, rapt attention.

Almost every young hand – boys and girls alike – had gone up when the anti-bullying expert asked who among them had been bullied.

And then Bisenius explains why it happened to them: "You fed the bully what they wanted – fear, attention and things."

Nearly one in three students across America reported being bullied in 2013, according to the National Center for Educational Statistics, and nearly 15 percent of high school students were bullied online in 2014, say officials from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

A Kentucky Department of Education study released this month found one in four students ages 12 to 18 reported being bullied. In 2013, the study notes, one reported bullying incident occurred every four minutes of every school day.

The problem remains steadfastly widespread, so much so that October is designated nationwide as "Bullying Prevention Awareness Month."

And the problem is worsening, says University of Cincinnati professor Keith King, director of the Center for Preventive Science in the College of Education, thanks to a rash of social media attempts to smear and attack their victims.

"Parents and schools are really struggling and, with social media, we are still in untested waters" in combating electronic bullying among youths, said King.

Despite years of aggressive efforts by local schools, such as bringing in nationally recognized anti-bullying experts like Bisenius, the verbal and physical abuse inflicted on school children continues and has morphed and expanded through new social media sites.

Bullying, by its nature, is hard to measure, but everyone agrees they know it when they see it.

Unfortunately, it often goes unseen by adult eyes, because while the bullies can be verbally or physically abusive, they're not necessarily stupid when it comes to avoiding the adults who might catch them in the act.

Josh White broke down and cried himself recently when his seventh-grade son came home in tears from his Boone County school.

White said some of his son's classmates had tried to ambush the 12-year-old and were going to film his beating with cellphones, presumably to post online.

"There's always been bullying, but it's different now," said White. "There is a whole new level of violence."

His son is fearful now about going to school, and recently, said his father, tormentors spit on his boy's head on the school bus. He is frustrated with school officials who said they need more proof and are slow, in White's opinion, to make busing and classroom changes to separate his son from his abusers.

White recently started a student bullying discussion on The Enquirer's Boone County Neighborhood Group Facebook page and was surprised by the rapid response from dozens of area parents complaining about bullying in various school systems.

"There are a lot of kids and parents out there going through the same thing," he said.

Bisenius has met with hundreds of parents and children during his 15 years as an anti-bullying expert, conducting more than 120 student assemblies throughout the Midwest, including one last week in Butler County's Lakota Schools.

His approach differs with the ages of the students, but he mixes plenty of practical advice on the best ways for potential victims to react. Bisenius also uses role playing with teachers to demonstrate typical school bullying situations. He tosses in tough talk, urging kids – and parents – to be vigilant and aggressive in reporting bullies to school officials, but doing so in ways that don't result in the victims putting a larger target on themselves.

"One of the main things I'm seeing in recent years is the tools (social media) to get at other kids has changed pretty drastically, but the basic idea of bullying is still the same," said Bisenius. "It's always been a power imbalance between kids – where one kid might have more social (peer group) power or more physical power – and they pull fear from the kid they target in order to scare their (the bully's) peers into doing what they tell them to do."

Prior to social media, school bullies were limited to physical proximity in their abuse but now, he explains, "they can reach them 24/7 now – through Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Snap Chat and Yik Yak – and are using those to do the same thing."

Lakota parent Amy Carrico was among the parents from VanGorden Elementary who attended the adult variation of Bisenius' presentation in the evening.

"There wasn't any program like this when I was in school. It's nice to have this progress for these younger children to learn about bullying and what it means and the effects it will have on their daily lives," said the Liberty Township resident.

Bisenius said parents shouldn't fool themselves into thinking bullying can ever be eliminated. It's part of the human condition, he said, and while there are strategies and resources available in schools and online, such abuse will always be with us.

"We're going to be 90 years old and there will be bullies waiting for us in the nursing home."