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OPINION
Jimmy Fallon

Punchlines: Give thanks for parades and tofurkeys

USA TODAY
Craig Ferguson

The four items that topped the thankful list for late-night comics this holiday season: travel, Thanksgiving Day parades, tofurkey and of course, the item that seems to be at the top of everyone's list this year, solutions for the craziness that is Black Friday. At least those were the most talked about items leading up to the big day.

To stop the Black Friday madness, one comic proposed banning anyone from state parks who has only used a tent to camp out in Best Buy parking lots. Another comic pitched a brilliant idea for avoiding today's travel rush (the day before Thanksgiving is generally the busiest travel day of the year): Just don't bother to visit your family, at all. Another comic talked about the pardoning of a tofurkey. Yes, a tofu turkey actually got pardoned this year. See what happened when it tried to fly away. And you'll never guess what the newest float is in this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Watch this webisode of Punchlines to find out.

Take a look at our favorite jokes from last night's late-night lineup in this final Thanksgiving Day edition of Punchlines, then vote for yours in the quick poll to the right. Watching from your smartphone or tablet? Then visit opinion.usatoday.com to cast your ballot! And like many of you, Punchlines will take the day off tomorrow to nosh on stuffing, cranberry sauce and all the other Thanksgiving Day fixings. But don't worry, your comic relief will enthusiastically return shortly after the holiday! Happy tofurkey day!

Punchlines Audio!

Are you traveling for the holidays? Take our Punchlines audio version with you on the go! Click to download the track, then visit our playlist for more!

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