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San Francisco Giants

Bryan Stow, heart of a Giant

Martin Rogers
USA TODAY Sports
Bryan Stow watches Game 4 of the NLCS with his sister Erin Collins and father Dave in his Capitola, CA home.

CAPITOLA, Calif. — Bryan Stow is still waiting for the San Francisco Giants to win the World Series, even though he has memorabilia celebrating their 2010 and 2012 triumphs on his bedroom wall.

"I know they won it," says Stow, a 45-year-old divorced father of two and former paramedic, who was the victim of a vicious beating in a Dodger Stadium parking lot on opening day in 2011. "But I don't really remember it. I want to see it happen again."

Three and a half years after the horrific attack that left him in a coma, with his cherished Giants chasing another championship, watching the postseason run has been a great joy in Stow's dramatically changed life.

He lives in the home where he grew up, and is looked after by his parents Dave, 70, and Ann, 67, with support from sisters Erin and Bonnie, and professional caregivers who provide the help he needs to negotiate daily functions such as getting dressed and using the restroom.

And although daily rehabilitation and the attention of his loved ones has helped Stow make some progress, there is no guarantee he will remember much of this postseason either, even if San Francisco goes all the way.

"There are holes in his memory," Ann Stow said. "Some things he remembers, some things he needs reminding of, some things he knows happened because he has been told about them."

And sometimes, in what is a common medical reaction in brain trauma patients, Bryan will fill gaps in his memory by "confabulating," or inventing recollections for himself.

Yet the highlight of each day still comes when the Giants take the field and, with assistance, Stow uses a walking apparatus to shuffle into his family's living room to watch his team in action.

He talks slowly but enthusiastically as he recognizes certain players, including his favorite, Buster Posey, or Pablo Sandoval, who presented him with a signed bat on a recent trip to AT&T Park, when Stow was wheeled into the clubhouse and gently poked fun at Hunter Pence's beard. Or Tim Flannery, the team's third base coach but also an accomplished musician, whose band The Lunatic Fringe has hosted benefit concerts to raise money for Stow's care.

At times, Stow's face will light up at the sight of a stolen base or a great defensive play by the Giants. On other occasions, while Stow's eyes are fixed on the television screen, there is little reaction, even when the Giants get on the scoreboard, like the game is temporarily passing him by.

The family, Stow's all-star roster of support, take each moment as it comes; each positive step is treated as a victory. Dave Stow smiles when he hears Bryan talk about how the spirit of the Giants and their never-say-die attitude inspires him. The words are a little muddled, but the sentiment is clear.

"The way they never give up," Bryan Stow told USA TODAY Sports as he watched Game 4 of the National League Championship Series. "I love that. Loooove it. It is really real for them and for me. I love these guys. I feel connected. They make me feel like part of the team."

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Bryan Stow was brutally beaten outside Dodger Stadium in 2011.

'HE IS A FIGHTER'

Bryan Stow takes time to form his thoughts but he is sweet-natured and funny and takes pleasure in small things, such as his sister Erin wearing a Motley Crue sweater as she cuddles up to him on the couch, or showing off a scary mask he used to prank the trick-or-treaters last Halloween.

Stow suffered traumatic brain injuries in the the attack for which Louie Sanchez and Marvin Norwood were jailed, with the Dodgers found to be partly liable for failing to provide adequate security in the parking lot.

The attack on Stow was unprovoked, seemingly for no other reason than that he was wearing a Giants jersey. Superior Court judge George Lomeli called Sanchez and Norwood the "biggest nightmare for people who attend public events" earlier this year when he sentenced Sanchez to eight years in prison and Norwood to four years.

Ann Stow had hoped that her son could be the "poster child" that would bring an end to such horrific violence at sports events. "I thought that was going to be his journey, the meaning of it all," she said.

However, such hope was apparently forlorn. Since the Stow beating, 24-year-old Dodger fan Jonathan Denver was stabbed to death during a fight near AT&T Park last September. Earlier this month, a fan was left in critical condition after being attacked following a Los Angeles Angels playoff game, although police said the assault was not sparked by "fan rivalry."

As time and baseball inexorably carry on, Stow's tale is a complicated one. In one sense it is and will always be the awful tale of a man dealt a cruel fate in his prime, unable to be the kind of father he wants to be to 15-year-old Tyler and 12-year-old Tabitha.

Yet it also a story of hope, of how to survive and persevere and adapt. Some people wish they could live in the moment. Bryan Stow has no choice.

"Bryan has made progress to a certain point because he is a fighter," said one of his attorneys, Tom Girardi. "But his mind and body are never going to be the same again. That is what was taken away from him."

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STILL MISCHIEVOUS

There are concerns about Stow's future, worries that he is largely shielded from by his family. A settlement of $18 million was awarded to him earlier this year but it has yet to be received and there are ongoing legal complications.

"Bryan is going to need 24-hour care for the rest of his life," said attorney Christopher Aumais. "It is vital that he receive the best care possible both now and in the future."

Some victims of brain trauma suffer severe shifts in personality, including violent episodes, and it is some solace for Dave and Ann Stow that Bryan has avoided that fate and retained a sense of humor.

Bryan even jokes of celebrating if the Giants win the World Series by throwing a huge party, complete with huge steins of beer and a grand ol' time for all. He knows it won't happen really, not with his physical limitations and ongoing challenges, but he tells of his dream plan with a mischievous smile that somehow saddens and delights at the same time.

Stow doesn't see himself as brave or tragic, just as his parents and sisters don't see their sacrifices as touching or heroic or a beautiful embodiment of familial love, which, of course, they are.

They are a family living in the present, because that is all there is to do. Collecting one small victory at a time, and hoping their beloved baseball team does the same.

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