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Joan Rivers

Voices: What I learned when I met Joan Rivers

Alia E. Dastagir
USA TODAY
Joan Rivers on Dec. 26, 2013, in New York City.

I knew Joan Rivers was coming into the bureau that day. Getting ready for work in the morning on July 3, I thought: "I should try to look good. Or at least I should try to not look bad." But the thought was quickly followed by another about my perpetually subpar wardrobe, and moments later another about how I was kidding myself and "this isn't the red carpet."

I put on white pants and a black T-shirt. I rocked the air-dry. I put on eyeliner, which I would later thank the gods for.

I was at my desk, buried in something unremarkable, when the air in the office changed: Joan Rivers was in the USA TODAY New York bureau.

We heard her before we saw her. Her signature rasp announced her arrival.

She walked in looking fabulous (though she was self-deprecating and later critiqued her outfit). She cracked jokes while she got set up for her on-camera interview about her new book, Diary of a Mad Diva. Right before it kicked off, the video tech told the newsroom, "Quiet on the set." Joan yelled, "Shut up."

We smothered our laughter while she spilled on waving to homeless people on the way to her limo, on Kristen Stewart's talent for juggling her director's anatomical parts, and on how Anne Frank was a whiner and she would have turned her into the Nazis to steal her enviably sized apartment. And on some other things that never made it into the story, because, well, we can't print them.

She also got real, happily acknowledging that she was "totally politically incorrect," but she never believed she went too far with her jokes. "Life is tough. Life is tough. I just think, 'Make them laugh,'" she said.

After the interview, I got up from my desk and whipped around to the studio to snap a photo. I pulled out my phone and went in for the coveted shot. And then, with all-consuming oafishness, I lost my balance — into the set's high-top chairs.

To steady myself, I reached for one of the boom stands holding up the studio's LED lights. In my mind, it was all very dramatic. As I was tipping and grabbing for something solid, I thought, "I'm going to bring down this studio set on Joan Rivers' head. And then I will get fired. And sued. And other bad things." None of this happened. I recovered my balance better and faster than in the slow disaster unfolding in my mind. Really the only bad thing I had to endure was the total agony of physical embarrassment in front of Joan, which serendipitously led to the really amazing thing that happened: I got her attention. Without missing a beat, she looked straight at me and my flushed cheeks, and said giddily, "You got the black-and-white memo."

What? I did? I did! Joan, our deputy bureau chief, our intern and I were all dressed in black-and-white ensembles. Joan was tickled, and there was a strange thrill in delighting her. She demanded a photo with us. Who could refuse?

Truthfully, the "mad diva" didn't seem like much of a diva at all — just a smart, kind, irreverent woman (we know the celebrities who annoyed her would have a different take). During her last interview with USA TODAY, Joan said, "When you're laughing at something, you remember something."

We'll be remembering you, Joan. Always.

Dastagir is a mobile editor at USA TODAY.

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