Community remembers Jill Conley, breast cancer warrior
LOUISVILLE -- After embracing a steady stream of mourners, Bart Conley stood alone for a moment, tears welling in his eyes he looked toward his wife Jill's casket. Under his suit jacket, he wore a T-shirt with one of her favorite sayings during her years-long fight with breast cancer: "Rock What You Got."
Just days ago, he was holding her hand and lying beside her. But on Tuesday, cancer made him a widower at 42.
"He's a strong man," said his brother, Pat Conley. "But she was his rock, his partner in life."
Jill, who was remembered at a visitation on Friday, died at age 38 after a 6 ½-year battle during which the disease spread to her bones, lungs and liver. The (Louisville) Courier-Journal and USA TODAY chronicled her journey, as well as her dying missions – to grow her cancer charity, Jill’s Wish, and spread her belief that not even fatal illness can erase beauty. By sharing her story, she showed the reality and devastation of cancer.
"Her message will continue to live on forever," said cancer survivor and friend Dana Kasse Donofree of Philadelphia. "She gave hope to others. Even with a Stage 4 diagnosis, people felt stronger by knowing her story."
Jill Conley, beautiful and brave, passes away
One was Kristina Peters of Louisville, who never met Jill but got to know her through the newspaper stories and like many other readers felt she needed to pay respects to Jill's family on Friday. As she read about Jill, Peters was struggling through her own treatment for breast cancer, facing hair loss and thinning eyebrows. "Jill Conley was the one person who convinced me to rock what I got," she said.
Jill's message, which also became the saying for her cancer charity, even inspired boxing icon Muhammad Ali and his wife Lonnie, who read her story and met with her and Bart twice. On a table at Ratterman & Sons Funeral Home stood a large bouquet from the Alis, with tulips, carnations and other flowers and butterflies surrounding the statue of an angel.
Besides several bouquets, the funeral home was filled with photos of Jill from throughout her life -- including during her cancer fight -- as well as a video slide show of Jill and her family and friends set to music. Near the casket was a jar of pennies, symbolizing Jill's favorite song, "All the Pennies" by Mindy Gledhill, which the indie musician sang to her last week during a private concert in her apartment.
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Mandy Switkowski of Michigan, Jill's best friend for 30 years, said Jill's "hope and determination" throughout her fight were two of the qualities that resonated with so many people throughout the community and the nation. Switkowski said she sent a last letter to her friend that Jill's mother Rosemary Duchon read to her shortly before she died, when it was unclear whether Jill could hear the words. In it, Switkowski said, "I promised to carry her legacy forever, talk about her life every single day."
Throughout the visitation, Jill's family and friends, including nieces and nephews, hugged and dabbed tears, but also occasionally smiled as they shared memories.
Cancer treatments had left Jill unable to bear children -- her greatest dream -- and she viewed her nieces and nephews as if they were her kids. Nephew Bradley Conley, 14, said he can hardly believe she is gone; he was just joking around with her last week and talked to her two days before her death.
"I'm going to miss the fun we had together, and the love," Bradley said. Her death "is going to leave a mark on all the people she knew. We should all be proud if we touch one person. She touched thousands."