The Short List: Brady's Deflategate suspension a go; Israel spy gets parole; Trump lawyer's flub

Tom Brady's Deflategate appeal falls flat. And the coverup is a bust

Bad news, Patriots fans: Your controversial quarterback is stillsuspended for four games as New England defends its Super Bowl title. Let's face it: Tom Brady's initial crime was silly, the NFL's equivalent of a frat-house prank. What he did afterward was worse, much worse, and for that he deserves every second of his four-game penalty. Why? That's what we find out in NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's 20-page decision to uphold the reigning Super Bowl MVP's suspension: Brady had his cellphone destroyed on March 5 or 6, just as the folks investigating allegations he and the New England Patriots had tampered with footballs were asking for it. Records of an inordinate and unusual number of phone calls and text messages with equipment assistant John Jastremski in the days after Deflategate broke were now conveniently gone. If Brady was innocent, if he'd had no role whatsoever in the deflation of footballs in the AFC Championship game, he doesn't destroy that cellphone. As everyone from Richard Nixon to Bill Clinton can tell you, it's not the crime that kills you. It's the coverup.

U.S. is releasing Israel's most famous spy

It's one of the most well-known cases of espionage in U.S. history. Jonathan Pollard was a civilian intelligence analyst for the U.S. Navy when he was sent to prison in 1985 for providing top-secret information to Israel. On Tuesday, his lawyers announced that after 30 years behind bars, he'll be paroled on Nov. 21. What he did. At the height of his 17-month spying spree, Pollard was turning over documents assembly-line style every other Friday to his Israeli handlers in an apartment in Washington. Pollard delivered more than 800 highly classified documents and 1,500 current intelligence summary messages. Why his imprisonment was so controversial. He's the only person in U.S. history to get a life sentence for spying for an ally. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been trying to get Pollard released for years. What some people are talking about. Whether the U.S. just threw Israel a bone. The U.S. has dangled the prospect of Pollard's release before, including during Israel-Palestinian talks last year. His pending parole could be seen as a concession to Israel, which was seriously unhappy about the Iranian nuke deal the U.S. made with world powers. (If you need a refresher on just how upset Israel is, that's right here.) Secretary of State John Kerry said Pollard's upcoming parole has nothing to do with the Iran deal. Pollard's attorneys said he's "looking forward to being reunited with his beloved wife Esther."

Donald Trump's lawyer said it's totally legal to rape your spouse — then backtracks

Some great PR for Donald Trump's presidential campaign this week. Michael Cohen, one of Trump's lawyers, made some pretty foul and inaccurate statements on rape. Cohen was responding to a Daily Beast story that described an incident where Trump's ex-wife, Ivana Trump, called an encounter between the two of them "rape." Cohen told the Daily Beast: "Of course, understand that by the very definition, you can't rape your spouse." Yea, no. Marital rape has been a crime in all 50 states since 1993. He also threatened the reporter, Tim Mak, telling him to "tread very f—— lightly," and that he would "mess" his life up. Nice. Cohen issued a non-apology on Tuesday. He said he made an "inarticulate comment." The Trump camp said the presidential contender doesn't agree with Cohen's remarks (probably because they're factually wrong). As for Ivana, she wishes Trump "the best of luck on his campaign."

Islamic State wants to trigger an Armageddon-like 'end of the world'

Ambitious. An apparent Islamic State recruitment document found in Pakistan reveals the extremist group wants to start a war in India to provoke an Armageddon-like "end of the world." The 32-page Urdu-language document obtained by American Media Institute and reviewed by USA TODAY details a plot to attack U.S. soldiers as they withdraw from Afghanistan and target American diplomats and Pakistani officials. The undated document, titled "A Brief History of the Islamic State Caliphate (ISC), The Caliphate According to the Prophet," seeks to unite dozens of factions of the Pakistani and Afghan Taliban into a single army of terror. "Accept the fact that this caliphate will survive and prosper until it takes over the entire world and beheads every last person that rebels against Allah," it proclaims. "This is the bitter truth, swallow it." Pretty sure no one's going to swallow that.

Volkswagen is winning the carmaker popularity contest

Volkswagen can now wear the crown of the world's largest automaker — at least so far this year. It usurped the title from Toyota. Good news for VW. It gets to call itself the world's largest automaker, which sounds cool. Bad news for VW. The title is largely symbolic. And, more importantly, the company's quality has remained low in its path to the top — at least in the U.S. market, where its sales have struggled in recent years. What it means for Toyota. It's not a devastating blow. Toyota is still immensely profitable and retains strong global market share. Whether Volkswagen can retain the No. 1 title for the full year is its next hurdle. Boosting volume has benefits, but AutoTrader.com analyst Michelle Krebs says this can take a toll on quality. That takes a toll on profits. Sounds like a heavy crown.

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This is a compilation of stories from across USA TODAY.

Contributing: Doug Stanglin, Cooper Allen, Nathan Bomey, David Jackson, Kevin Johnson, USA TODAY; Sara A. Carter, American Media Institute