Sepp Blatter's re-election shows cronyism still in charge at FIFA

It would have been funny if it wasn't so sad, so ugly, so predictably full of cronyism and, you know, so darn looooong.

Sepp Blatter, playing the role of the cartoon villain, retained his position as soccer's global dictator on Friday as the collective of bureaucrats and administrators who control the world's most popular game showed once more how little they care for what those devoted fans think.

It was all a big show in Zurich, an excruciatingly drawn out farce. It took hours and hours, but at the end of it all soccer politics remained rooted in the dark ages.

Forget about reform in FIFA happening by itself. The only chance left to oust Blatter now rests with the U.S. Department of Justice and whether it can dig up enough dirt to bring FIFA's corrupt house of cards tumbling down.

Because, for now, Blatter is sitting pretty once more. After defeating his only challenger, Prince Ali bin al-Hussain of Jordan by 133 votes to 73, Blatter secured a fifth consecutive term at the top of the murkiest governing body in sports. The majority was not quite enough to gain the requisite two-thirds share for an automatic victory, but Prince Ali's race was run and the Jordanian resigned before a second vote was cast.

Blatter raised his arms, pumped his fists, waved and grinned at the suited administrators who had jetted into Switzerland in their first-class seats and laid their heads in their luxury suites and, on Friday, came back from a lavish luncheon to keep their guy in power.

Meanwhile, soccer got short-changed again.

The very best that can be thought of Blatter is that he was woefully ignorant these past decades, as alleged mass corruption took place under his nose, by some of his closest allies.

That alone, in any sensible structure, should have been enough to suggest that the time was right for a long-awaited change, not to mention the suspicion that there could be a whole lot more to it than that.

But no, this is FIFA, this is Sepp's world, where the 79-year-old godfather of soccer politics does pretty much whatever he likes, and gets patted on the back for it within his circle of chums.

Blatter's comments on Friday should have been enough to suggest this is a man with a tenuous grasp on reality. "Time is a flat circle," he said. "I am with you, some will say a long time, some will say too long. But what is time?"

The best thing Blatter said was that this will definitely be his final term. Given that he will be 83 by the time his latest tenure expires that would seem little more than common sense. But he said the same thing four years ago and that turned out to be untrue, so doesn't be surprised by anything.

As powerful as the U.S. legal authorities are and as confident as they were on Wednesday, ordering arrests in Switzerland and promising the beginning of a deep-rooted clearout, it seemed like Blatter was taunting them with bare-faced cheek here.

A master of spin, he hinted at sour grapes, saying that if the World Cup hosting vote for 2018 and also 2022 (which the U.S. lost to Qatar) had ended differently "we would not be in this situation."

He said that the allegations of impropriety could not be laid at his door. "You can't ask everyone to behave ethically," he said. Given how the vote went, most of those present ate it up.

Perhaps most remarkable, in his rambling acceptance speech he called for increased rights for the Oceania confederation by referring to Ocean's Eleven. That's right, a movie about a carefully-planned heist of tens of millions of dollars.

As many members fumed and left following Blatter's victory, their FIFA careers probably in tatters, others crowded around to pump his hand and pose for selfies.

Repercussions for those who oppose Blatter have typically been swift and ruthless. The United States was among a handful of federations who came out publicly to say they would back Prince Ali. It doesn't bode well for American chances of hosting a World Cup here in 2026, though that should be the least of the worries for anyone who cares about the sport right now.

"There were 73 countries who were very brave," an emotional Prince Ali said, as he left the building. "I don't want them to be in any more trouble."

And with that, after becoming the overwhelming sports story of the week, enough to take the air out of Deflategate and anything else, soccer will be relegated to its usual lowly place in the sports bulletins. Until, at least, we hear some more from the attorney general or the feds.

But in reality this wasn't soccer at all, it was FIFA. This wasn't the game you either love or hate or even feel ambivalent about, it was the politics of it, and there is nothing even the slightest bit pretty about this detestable side of the beautiful game.