Through love, even in death, Louisville woman defeated breast cancer

LOUISVILLE — Jamie Brzezinski came into the world within minutes of his sister Jill Brzezinski-Conley and shared with her the mysterious and powerful bond of a twin. But Saturday, he stood before a church full of mourners and spoke of cherishing her legacy as he — and they — go on without her.

"Jill took this evil sickness the full 12 rounds and she kicked cancer's butt," Brzezinski told a crowd of hundreds at St. Patrick Catholic Church, adding that he felt uncomfortable at her funeral using a stronger word that came to mind. "My sister could have thrown in the towel six years ago, but she decided to take it face on and fought like heck to defeat it.

"Jill was quoted as saying, 'If I can affect one woman, I would die the happiest woman in the world,' " he said. "Well, guess what, sister, you've impacted thousands of men, women and children."

Jill, 38, died Tuesday of cancer that began in her breast and eventually spread to her bones, lungs and liver. The (Louisville) Courier-Journal and USA TODAY chronicled her journey as well as her dying missions — to grow her cancer charity, Jill’s Wish, and spread her belief that not even fatal illness can erase beauty. Beauty, she always said, was defined by confidence, kindness and most of all love.

Jill Conley, beautiful and brave, passes away

The Rev. Jeffrey Shooner said he only met Jill once, but got a sense of her great love through that meeting and through the journey she shared with the community.

"Jamie, she did kick cancer's ass," Shooner said to laughter and applause. "Cancer, although it took her life, did not take her spirit. It did not take her from making a difference in the world or keep her from that, and in fact, through (cancer) and overcoming it, she touched many more lives than she may have otherwise. ... She brought hope to many more people; she brought confidence to many more people; she brought love to many more people. So she is victorious."

Jill's mom, Rosemary Duchon, told mourners that she and Jill had talked several times about not wanting her funeral to be sad, especially since Jill loved to tell jokes and use humor to help her cope.

So Duchon shared funny stories — like the one about Jill growing up with three brothers and waking up one day to find a dead gerbil under her pillow, and another about Jill telling her second-grade class that the reason people were put on Earth was "to make love." Duchon talked about the day Jill met her husband, Bart, and how "it was love at first sight" that eventually became a deep, unending love.

Bart sat in the front of the church — his mother, Betty Conley, occasionally rubbing his back or touching his shoulder in support. At one point, he shared Jill's favorite poem, "The Oak Tree," by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr., about how a mighty wind stole an oak tree's leaves, "then snapped its boughs/ and pulled its bark/ until the Oak was tired and stark ... But still the Oak Tree held its ground/ while other trees fell all around."

Bart's voice broke as he shared the final words, about the wind — Jill's journey with cancer — making the tree "stronger than I ever knew."

Shooner saidthat  by living her life so transparently, Jill inspired others with that strength, helping roll away the "stones" in their way "so that resurrection, new life and love will conquer all."

While fighting a grueling and increasingly exhausting battle, Jill not only shared her story with the Louisville community, she spoke around the nation, talked and listened to others facing all sorts of difficulties, and raised money for families battling cancer through Jill's Wish. Shooner said she shined with the beauty of love, and looked for that beauty in the people around her. Part of her legacy, he said, is a call to action, "that we don't just gratefully receive the gift of Jill's life ... but we take that gift and we continue to share that love with others."

One of the most emotional moments in the service came when The Rev. Christopher Rhodes sang a Josh Groban song about inspiration from God, with lyrics that could also describe the way Jill inspired others, and the gift that they can take forward now that she is gone:

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.