'Empire' recap: We are 'Powerful'
ICYMI, Empire was all over the place AGAIN. Characters were just spilling tea and blowing up each other's spots with no regard for our feelings or the fact that we only have one episode left this season. We've attempted to parse through the madness here, so pay attention because these eight points are pretty much all you need to know to successfully gossip about it:
1. 48 hours.
That’s precisely how long Candace and Loretha Cookie were looking for their sister, Carol, and, chile, Cookie was about FourFiveSeconds from whylin’. Candace wasn't holding up too much better. Her Fraud-a shoes really weren’t made for running through crack houses, and it didn't help that it seemed to be to no avail.
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While driving around aimlessly, Cookie huffed that she needed to get back to Lyon Dynasty and insisted that Carol would turn up sooner or later. Candace turned on her at that point, demanding to know what happened to their cousin, Jermel, that drove Carol to go on the binge (we’re guessing Cookie receiving his head in a gift box might have been a slight trigger). Cookie snapped that she knew nothing and jumped out of the car when Candace pressed her for more information. But, Candace followed, leaving her with a chilling message: “If I find Carol dead, it’s on you.”
“Don’t kid yourself, Candace,” Cookie said flatly. “It’s always on me.”
Thankfully, Carol wasn't dead — just strung out. The feuding sisters found her after Cookie received a tip from her old prison mate, Pepper (Rosie O’Donnell). The ex-convict-turned-successful-bakery-owner invited Cookie to her shop and told her that Carol had been hanging with Boz, a local with a notorious rep for abusing women. (We’ve gotta wonder what kind of pies Pepper's been baking that Boz and his boys would feel comfortable hanging around her shop, but that’s none of our business.)
Pepper agreed to accompany Cookie and Candace to Boz’s hangout to find Carol. On their walk, Pepper mentioned that Family Day at the prison was next week (the same week as Cookie’ summer jam) and asked Cookie to do a small show. Before Cookie could explain her conflict with the summer jam, they stumbled upon Carol. Cookie instinctively jerked her toward the car, but Carol held back — just long enough to throw up right on Candace's shoes.
Naturally, everyone had an appetite after that so they hit a diner. After the meal, Candace and Cookie squabbled over who Carol would stay with. Carol chose Cookie while Candace agreed to care for her kids. Cookie smugly left money for the bill and headed to the bathroom while Candace hissed to Carol that the two might not be so close if Cookie knew what Carol did while she was in lockdown. Cliffhanger! (Nah, but she probably slept with Lucious... like half of New York.)
2. Boo Boo Kitty is crazy... but you knew that.
Anika is going to need Oprah, Iyanla and Jesus to fix all the problems in her head. Granted, we’re thankful that she didn’t harm Laura when she hijacked her car last week (though we're pretty sure her driver is still in a locker somewhere), but her bargain-basement surveillance this episode was doing just a little too much for us.
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Seriously, this girl must have been drinking the same moonshine as Anthony Hamilton because she just can’t let go. She even had the audacity to crash Hakeem's party, talking 'bout, "Oh, you must have lost my invitation."
The. Delusion.
And in the ultimate bird move, Anika circled Laura like the desperate vulture she is, throwing all kinds of shade at the “Jenny from the block” knockoff. She topped off the jealous tirade by telling Hakeem that Laura lives in a hellhole in the South Bronx with seven brothers and sisters. We aren’t sure how any of this is relevant except that we now know there are at least seven others ready to snatch Anika's wig.
Hakeem later confronts Anika about it and shuts her down with the coldest bars he's ever spit: “You will never be one of us. You won’t ever be a Lyon. Ever!”
Point. Blank. Period.
3. Lucious is ballin' out of control...
Lucious is still clearly licking his wounds from Hakeem chopping the family name. His pitiable obsession with preserving the “Lyon legacy” spurs him to purchase a six-bedroom mansion for Andre and Rhonda, because it ain't trickin' if you got it. Let us pray that this gift comes with no strings attached. LOL JK, it's Lucious.
4. They keep dragging out this weak "B" story.
Surprise! Once again, there’s another snag in the Swiftstream merger: Lucious needs more collateral. It may have helped if he didn’t just flex on his son, but that’s neither here nor there because, unlike Sway, Andre has the answers: Sell everything! The fashion collection. The sports merchandising. The spirits division. The man is like '04 Oprah: "You get a division and you get a division and you get a division!"
Of course, Lucious shuts that plan all the way down. And, of course, Andre slinks away with his tail tucked between his legs. But he later proposes another solution: Get Cookie to sign away her rights to Lucious’ early records so he can raise the capital. Genius!
Buoyed by the proposition, Lucious calls Hakeem over to brag about the pending deal and all the money he’s (theoretically) about to make. He then asks Hakeem if he’s sure he wants to drop the last name Lyon and offers him a chance to get with the money team, granted he re-signs to Empire and posts a video saying he’s retaining the name.
But Hakeem has his mother’s strength. He looks Lucious up and down like the two-bit pimp he is, says “This son can’t be bought” and walks smooth out. LIKE A BAWSE!
5. Cookie (still) has no time for Lucious...
Cookie returned to the office after finding Carol and was graciously welcomed back with a massage from Laz — or so she thought. As soon as Cookie realizes it's Lucious, she snatches away. And he pounces, pressuring her about signing over her rights. In the middle of his shakedown plea, Laz strolls in — wine glasses and a bottle in hand. He introduces himself before tonguing down Cookie right in front of Lucious. “It’s nice to see you sleeping your way to the bottom,” Lucious says with more salt than your down-South granny uses to season her chicken.
Lucious then tips over their bottle, letting red wine spill all over the carpet. “Good thing you got your maid in here to clean it up,” he says, skulking out.
6. ... but Lee Daniels had time for his own cameo.
Remember that Pepsi deal Jamal landed last week? Yeah, that’s still a thing, and the middle Lyon needs a music video for it. The egomaniac that he is, Lucious pitches a father-son concept. But director Lee Daniels (played by none other than Lee Daniels) decides to go in a different direction because — and we quote — “Lucious, you represent the past. This kid, he’s the future.”
We believe that's called a humbling moment.
His pride in shambles, Lucious hobbles off set, waving his metaphorical cane and barking at Andre to sell whatever assets he must to make Lucious feel like a man again raise more money.
7. Laz finally got exposed.
In case you forgot (because clearly he has), Laz is the bad guy. We were reminded of this when Big Heavy and his minions bust up in Lyon Dynasty, trying to rob Hakeem for the fifty-leventh time. Laz managed to ward them off before they infiltrated the main studio, but his hero act didn't save him once Lucious exposed his affiliation with Big Heavy and (literally) deaded him.
8. The Skye really is the limit.
After a slew of unnecessary celebrity cameos, Alicia Keys’ turn as the multi-platinum songstress Skye Summers offered dramatic relief. Summers is the latest feature on Jamal’s forthcoming project, The Black and White Album, and we’re so here for that Beyond the Lights hair. While Skye is initially off-put by Lucious — who tries to limit her to the bubblegum pop sound — she finds comfort in Jamal, who encourages her to break out of her box. Together, they produce the transcendent single, Powerful.
Inspired by the Black Lives Matter movement, the song expresses hope for a day when color doesn’t mean anything and where “stars are the only thing shooting.” At one point, Skye tells Jamal, “thank you for seeing me.” He responds, “Thank you for letting me see you.” The duet resumes and Jamal and Skye come together for a precious, if predictable, kiss.
We hope that the spark between them also sparks a dialogue about the fluidity of sexuality, but we’ll just have to wait for the finale!