Advertisement

Chip Kelly has lost his team in every possible way

The Philadelphia Eagles are like that turkey in your oven. Done. And turkeys.

Entering Thursday, the Philadelphia Eagles were the only team to play three or more games on Thanksgiving and have an undefeated record (6-0). That streak ended feebly and disastrously on Thursday, when the Detroit Lions, who were 1-7 just 12 days ago, gave the Eagles the equivalent of a pumpkin pie to the face, blowing them out 45-14 (it could have been so much worse) and allowing for the possibility that by the time the team gets home and finishes their Thanksgiving dinners, they could be in last place in the NFC East.

If last week’s blowout loss to Jameis Winston and the Bucs was riding the mine elevator down to rock bottom, Thursday was the arrival at the destination. “I don’t think this can get any uglier for the Eagles,” Troy Aikman, not one to express hyperbole, said on Fox. Why not? Because the Eagles quit on Chip Kelly.

(AP)

(AP)

Oh, to say a team has quit is one of the easier, more ridiculous and cliched statements you can make in sports. Maybe stars can quit on a coach (particularly in a player-powered sport such as the NBA), but in a sport such as football, when you can be great one year and out of the league the next, these guys aren’t playing for a coach, they’re playing for themselves. They need to put together good enough tape to either get re-signed or find a landing spot in free agency the next season. The journeyman linebacker never quits.

So a more appropriate saying is that Chip Kelly appears to have lost the team as a whole. They look disorganized. They look apathetic. They look bored. They are unprepared. In their last 11 quarters, the team has been outscored 107-34 to teams who were a combined 6-12 after Week 10. Matthew Stafford was throwing the ball all over the field and no member of the secondary appeared particularly put out, even as Calvin Johnson was reeling in touchdown after touchdown. Mark Sanchez looked like everybody expects the 2015 version of Mark Sanchez to look, but was barely better than Sam Bradford, who was Chip Kelly’s hand-picked quarterback to run his so-called genius offense.

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

It was bad performance from the outset, with Detroit scoring early and not stopping. In a season that’s had so many double-digit comebacks, there was absolutely no sense the Eagles had any chance of pulling one off after getting down 17-7. By halftime, all 45 guys on their sideline looked so fatigued or disengaged it was like they’d eaten a turkey all by themselves, Joey Tribbiani style, and were getting the snoozies.

Here was the length of Philly’s possessions after their second-quarter touchdown until Detroit took out its starters: 0:33, 0:51, 0:12, 0:36, 3:04, 1:07 and 2:24 for a grand total of 20 yards. The first four of those possessions “gained’ -15 yards. Stats do tell the numbers sometimes.

91ff5b25ee398beaabe560c19772a351

Earlier this week we speculated about Chip Kelly’s future and where he’ll be in 2016. After today, it’s almost impossible to think it’ll be in Philly. How could he be? Team owner Jeffrey Lurie can’t strip Kelly of the GM duties he demanded — you can’t go back from that, not with all the go involved. With that being the case, Kelly has to go as coach.

And he should, his horrendous player-acquisition mistakes aside. The coaching of late has been even worse. Thursday was the Redskins playing out the string under Mike Shanahan. It was the Red Sox eating fried chicken and beer after Tito Francona lost the team. This was the 76ers just, uh, being the 76ers. If there were a white towel, the Eagles collectively would have thrown it.

(AP)

(AP)

Up until the Thanksgiving Day massacre began in Detroit the Eagles were still legitimately in the playoff hunt thanks to the ridiculously mediocre NFC East. If Philly had won and the Redskins beat the Giants on Sunday, then all of a sudden there’d be a three-way tie for first place. Unlikely as it seemed, the disaster could have turned around in 60 minutes. Questions about which college Chip Kelly was going to coach next would have turned into which team the Eagles would have hosted in the playoffs. It wasn’t to be. In three hours, a bad season became a full-fledged catastrophe that will ultimately lead to a full revamp in Philadelphia.

It’ll start with Chip Kelly, who will get a job wherever he wants one. The problem for Philadelphia fans is that Kelly stripped the roster like he was selling it off for parts, so there’s no bright side on the horizon. There aren’t hidden gems lying in wait. Kelly the GM ultimately ruined Kelly the coach and now both will leave ruin in their aftermath. The team’s next coach isn’t going to be left with an empty cupboard, he’s going to be left with no cupboard at all.

(AP)

(AP)

More NFL