Colorado's Derek McCartney balances grief with growth

BOULDER, Colo. — Bill McCartney glances at an old photograph of his grandson while he's talking, and he loses his original train of thought.

"He's got a world-class smile," the former Colorado football coach says suddenly. "We are going to feature that smile. I don't know how yet, but we will feature it."

His grandson, Derek, is a redshirt sophomore defensive end for the program that's synonymous with his last name. Derek's smile comes out frequently when he talks about football, his family, his faith and his dreams of becoming a doctor. It also disappears when he talks about the heartbreak he's endured.

His grandmother, Lyndi, died in May 2013 after a battle with emphysema. His high school sweetheart, Kaylee McBeth, passed away the following January from a heart tumor. "It was kind of bang-bang," current Buffs coach Mike MacIntyre puts it.

"After that, it was really hard to start things again," Derek says. "I didn't feel motivation to do anything, really. The only thing that got me through it was being around people I cared about and who cared about me. I relied on Jesus. That was the only thing that's helped me get through it."

Derek spent the week following Kaylee's death at home with his family and her family. When he returned to school, he eased back into his friendships, and football.

Slowly.

"It was weird, walking on campus, seeing everyone, knowing what happened," Derek says. "A lot of times I used to call her between classes. Walking around campus turned out to be really hard. It just felt so different. Something was stripped away."

Grief comes in waves for Derek. Some days, even now, he loses motivation. He still misses her deeply. Around his neck, he wears a ring Kaylee's father had given her, so a piece of her is with him each day.

"Our foundation is really one of faith," Bill says. "We believe that this life is temporary and the next life is eternal. I was married 50 years and three months. Lyndi was amazing. She was an extraordinary coach's wife. She always had her A game, it seemed like. We all miss her. But I'm going to see her again; I really carry that in my heart.

"As it relates to Kaylee, Derek's going to see her again. It's a difficult time, and I don't mean to suggest it's not, but there is this hope that we carry in our hearts that we will see them again."

Derek says his grandfather remains one of his greatest motivators and champions. He, his mother and brother grew up next door to Bill and Lyndi, spending most afternoons after school with them, playing around on the computer with his grandmother and talking to his grandfather. Some afternoons, Derek would go down into their basement and immerse himself in their collection of Colorado football memorabilia. His favorite thing in the basement is a radio recording of the Miracle at Michigan.

"He was subjected to that overload," Bill says, chuckling. "It's really over the top."

Derek spent his childhood smiling, bringing joy to his family and those around him, Bill says. He excelled at athletics — playing football and basketball and running track — as well as academics and began speaking about becoming a doctor someday. His grandfather describes him as a kid with a special spirit about him and "one of those kids who comes along who's a shooting star."

At Colorado, that star has continued to soar. Derek is pre-med, majoring in Integrative Physiology. By the end of this past spring semester, he'd already surpassed 100 credits. He plans to graduate next spring and then enroll in a graduate program.

Derek isn't sure what area of medicine he wants to study down the line, but he does think he'd like surgery. He's also found studying the heart intriguing, because of Kaylee's condition.

Derek balances his studies with his commitment to improving as a football player. Last season, after a redshirt year, the 6-3, 240-pound defensive end started every game, accumulating 34 tackles (23 solo, including six for losses and four for zero gains) and four and a half sacks, which tied for the second-most sacks by a freshman (true or redshirt) in school history.

"That's what he specializes in," Bill says. "When he was in high school, he knifed through there with his long arms, made a lot of plays behind the line of scrimmage. Last year as a redshirt freshman, he led the team in sacks. What that tells me is now he's got three years. If he stays free of serious injury, he's going to rewrite the book."

And he's going to smile.

PRESEASON AMWAY COACHES POLL TOP 25