You’ll learn below that this was a rather slow and somewhat gross week for Taco Bell news. In lieu of leading with more disgusting topics, This Week in Taco Bell instead would like to present the nine best songs to listen to while eating Taco Bell alone in your car, as inspired by a Twitter interaction with Michael Perri.

If you’re dedicated to the Taco Bell lifestyle — and if you’re reading this post, you probably are — then at some point you will almost certainly find yourself eating Taco Bell alone in your car, perhaps in the Taco Bell parking lot. Here are the nine best songs to soundtrack those occasions, numbered here but in no particular order:

1. Beck: Guess I’m Doing Fine

A haunting and atmospheric breakup song from Beck’s Sea Change, this is perfect for trying to remind yourself that everything’s OK even though it definitely isn’t. Open up your soul and let the sadness in. Then usher it right back out with mouthfuls of delicious Taco Bell.

2. Ludwig Van Beethoven: Ode to Joy

This is fourth and final movement in Beethoven’s last completed symphony, written while the composer was almost completely deaf. It’s maybe a bit of a cliched choice for a classical selection to enjoy while eating Taco Bell, but by the time it swells to its triumphant and beautiful payoff, you won’t be worried about that. The song exists now to remind you that there is elation and wonder to be found in this world, even with the specter of death ominously looming as it so often seems to be in the Taco Bell parking lot.

3. Ghostface Killah: All That I Got is You

“Sometimes I look up at the stars and analyze the sky, and ask myself, ‘Was I meant to be here? Why?'” The struggle is real, but Taco Bell will always be there for you.

4. Billy Idol: Dancing with Myself

Billy Idol’s not here to worry about what brought you to this place, eating Taco Bell alone in your car. Billy Idol’s here to tell you that you’ve got literally everything you need to be happy: Your stereo, your irrepressible spirit, and, of course, your Cheesy Gordita Crunch.

5. Johnny Cash: Hurt

Forget everything Billy Idol just said: The world is terrible and sad, and pain is the only constant.

6. Miles Davis: Flamenco Sketches

Listen to John Coltrane search through his tenor-sax solo as he endeavors Miles’ breakthrough modal jazz stylings in some of their earliest incarnations. There’s a desperation in it, the fruitless quest for perfection in a form that defies it with its lack of resolutions. Then Cannonball Adderly comes in on the alto, and suddenly everything’s soulful and chill. You’re alone and you’re at Taco Bell and you’ve got no place to go and no one to enjoy your Taco Bell with and you just want to be happy and then, wait, hey, there are so many worse places you could be and so much worse company you could be with and so many far less delicious foods you could be eating.

7. Talking Heads: (Nothing But) Flowers

This so happens to be one of my favorite songs of all time, and it so happens to name check multiple fast-food restaurants — though not Taco Bell, sadly. It’s hilarious, for one thing, and it presents an amazing admonition of nostalgia. For all we might lament these trappings of modern life, like cars and Taco Bells, we will inevitably miss them if and when we ever reach a utopian, agrarian future.

8. Daniel Johnston: True Love Will Find You in the End

Just heartbreaking.

9. Erma Franklin: Piece of My Heart

The original recording of the song popularized by Janis Joplin, and, as far as This Week in Taco Bell is concerned, a far better version. It’s sad, but it’s funky and it’s passionate and it’s powerful and it’s redeeming. This song is eating Taco Bell alone in your car.

If you have alternate suggestions for songs to listen to while eating Taco Bell alone in your car, This Week in Taco Bell would love to hear them. Share away at my Facebook page.

Taco Bell evacuated after sign goes on fire

I mean, Taco Bell warned everyone that the new Dare Devil Loaded Grillers are hot. Probably should have better prepared their buildings for the new item.

Couple finds fingernail at bottom of nachos

Nope. No, no, no, no. No. NO. No.