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Ranking all 22 major Super Bowl halftime shows

(AP)

(AP)

Prior to 1993, the Super Bowl halftime show was a showcase for college marching bands, Up With People and gimmicks like Brian Boitano figure skating with Dorothy Hamill. Since then, however, the show has become a spectacle that’s every bit as hyped as the game around it. For The Win looks back at the 22 Super Bowl halftime shows since then and ranks them from worst to first.

22. Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, 1995

(Other performers: Patti Labelle, Teddy Pendergrass, Tony Bennett)

The Vince Lombardi trophy was stolen and Indiana Jones and Marion Ravenwood had to recover it while Tony Bennett and Patti Labelle performed songs in a fictitious “Club Disneyland.” This was the actual premise of the Super Bowl halftime show in 1995. Nineteen ninety-five! It would stand as most embarrassing moment in Indiana Jones history until Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was released. It’s still the most embarrassing halftime show.

21. The Blues Brothers, 1997

(AP)

(AP)

Other performers: ZZ Top, James Brown

Before his groundbreaking work in According to Jim, James Belushi would further sully the family name with this cringe-inducing ode to New Orleans.

20. Phil Collins, Christina Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias, 2000

(AP)

(AP)

Other performers: Toni Braxton, Edward James Olmos

The singers performed five songs. More than a decade later, I doubt there’s a single person who could name them, Collins or Aguilera included.

19. Wynona, Clint Black (pictured), Tanya Tucker, Travis Tritt, 1994

(AP)

(AP)

Wavy Lays sponsored this halftime show, which is just about the most 1994 thing ever, other than Travis Tritt’s jacket.

18. Chaka Khan, Gloria Estefan, Stevie Wonder, Kiss, 1999

(AP)

(AP)

Not even Gene Simmons and Peter Criss could save this “Celebration of Soul, Salsa and Swing” that featured Gloria Estefan’s second Super Bowl performance. (She was the headliner in the 1992 show that featured Brian Boitano ice skating.)

17. The Who, 2010

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Remember when there was an uproar after NBC cut away from The Who’s Closing Ceremony performance at the 2012 Olympics? That wouldn’t have been a terrible fate for this halftime show.

16. Tom Petty, 2008

(AP)

(AP)

One of the best Super Bowls in history (Giants-Patriots I) had one of the most bland halftime shows. There’s nothing wrong with Tom Petty at all — he has some great songs — but the biggest stage in the world isn’t the best place to showcase them.

15. Madonna, 2012

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Other performers: Cee-Lo Green, M.I.A., Nicki Minaj, LMFAO, dozens more

The Material Girl was an anticipated headliner and could have put on a fine show if she hadn’t cluttered the stage with multiple drumlines, female rappers and former members of Goodie Mob turned reality-show stars.

14. Shania Twain, 2003

Other performers: No Doubt, Sting

The Super Bowl has the tendency to pick performers past their prime. With one exception, the most popular singer has never performed at the big game. (Katy Perry is big, but she’s no Taylor Swift.) But this didn’t hurt Shania Twain (who looked great) and No Doubt (who sounded pretty good) and Sting (who thankfully didn’t try to sing acoustic versions of his solo catalogue).

13. Black Eyed Peas, 2011

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Other performers: Slash, Usher

There was nothing cool or musically important about BEP’s performance at the 2011 Super Bowl. It was merely watchable and entertaining. Is that so bad?

12. Bruno Mars, 2014

Other performers: Red Hot Chili Peppers

If the show had just been Bruno Mars, it probably would have ranked higher. The songwriting guru is quite entertaining with his throwback style and easy-to-remember hits. But then Mars brought out the Red Hot Chili Peppers for some reason. The Chili Peppers are fine — watching Flea jump around shirtless is always fun, they were just superfluous, especially with their unplugged electric instruments. They didn’t make mesh with Mars. Oh, there was also this:

FlatSmoothEland

11. Rolling Stones, 2006

The Stones got three songs from a historic, multi-decade career and they selected 2005’s mediocre Rough Justice to be one of them.

10. Motown Salute, 1998

(AP)

(AP)

Performers: Boyz II Men, Smokey Robinson, Martha Reeves, The Temptations

The NFL saluting Motown with a performance in San Diego is a little like Microsoft saluting Disney with a performance in Toronto. Still, Martha Reeves and Smokey Robinson are awesome and so is Motownphilly.

9. Paul McCartney, 2005

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

For a guy who loves to play his hits in concert, Sir Paul’s setlist was strange. Drive My Car, Get Back and Live and Let Die were all featured — what Band of the Run was busy? Still, it’s freaking Paul McCartney. He could have played Chopsticks and it’d still have made the top 10.

8. Bruce Springsteen, 2009

The worries that playing a truncated setlist would be difficult for a man who routinely plays three-hour shows were well-founded. The Boss takes 45 minutes to get into his groove. With 15 minutes, it felt too quick. It didn’t help that he threw an unknown new song into his four-track setlist. But if those are the downsides to hearing Tenth Avenue Freeze Out and Born to Run during the biggest game of the year, we’ll take it, especially when they involve sliding into the camera.

7. Diana Ross, 1996

(AP)

(AP)

The Motown superstar performed a medley of hits live, then helicoptered out of the stadium at the conclusion of the performance. Like a Ross.

6. Beyonce, 2013

Other performers: Destiny’s Child

Beyonce put on a great show — when does she not? — but it was the all-too-brief Destiny’s Child reunion and an overprotective publicist that are the lasting legacies of last year’s show.

5. Prince, 2007

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

All Along the Watchtower into Best of You capped by Purple Rain was the best closing in halftime show history.

4. U2, 2002

(AP)

(AP)

Five months after 9/11, Bono was at his emotional, preening best when U2 paid tribute during Where the Streets Have No Name. It was great theater and a touching tribute, but going from football to Beautiful Day to a heartbreaking, scrolling list of the thousands killed in a terrorist attack, then back to football in a span of 25 minutes was disorienting.

3. Aerosmith, ‘N Sync and Britney Spears, 2001

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Scoff if you want (and we’re sure you will), but only one Super Bowl featured performers at the height of their popularity: ‘N Sync and Britney Spears in 2001. The joint performance of Walk This Way is one of the few memorable Super Bowl songs played over the past 20 years.

2. Janet Jackson, 2004

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

Janet and Justin Timberlake’s wardrobe malfunction is one of the most famous moments in Super Bowl history (on or off the field), but we bet you don’t remember which song Janet and Justin were performing during the incident. (It was Rock Your Body. We had to look it up.)

1. Michael Jackson, 1993

MJ was in the final stretch of his reign as King of Pop — sexual abuse allegations would hit later that summer — when he shot onto stage at the Rose Bowl. There, he stood in motionless triumph for 90 seconds while 100,000 fans cheered and awaited his five-song set. Jackson started off with Jam, then went into Billie Jean and Black or White before closing with a mass sing-along of Heal the World. It was the birth of the modern-day Super Bowl spectacle.

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