Taco Bell started selling its long-heralded Cap’n Crunch Delights on Thursday. As a good and responsible Taco Bell journalist, I made the eight-block walk to my nearest Taco Bell to sample some in the interest of thorough Taco Bell analysis.

For the Win is prepared to report that Taco Bell’s new Cap’n Crunch Delights are pretty good. They’re similar in taste and construction to the Cinnabon Delights, in that they are a greasy fried thing filled with warm icing.

The new confections are extremely rich, and I can’t imagine a situation in which I would want more than the minimum order of two. They lack the delicious cinnamon component of their Cinnabon cousins, obviously, but make up for it with a crunchier outside — perhaps due to the presence of the Cap’n Crunch Delights’ namesake cereal.

They come in sort of a neon shade of salmon red, but unlike salmon they are not really a color I’d risk consuming if it existed in nature. Other than that, the influence of the Cap’n Crunch seems light: Perhaps, if I concentrate, I can make out the taste of an artificial fruitiness so light in the mix that it’s not unpleasant, but the sweetness of the icing and cake overpowers it. And then, I can’t say for certain I know what Crunchberries taste like at this point, for I am not 9 years old.

Ultimately, the Cap’n Crunch Delights stand as a reasonable but unspectacular option for Taco Bell dessert. If you want or feel you deserve something a bit heavier than the still-delicious Cinnamon Twists, they make a decent alternative to the Cinnabon Delights.

But if by some strange chance I felt I had enough room in my stomach left for more than two Cap’n Crunch Delights after eating a meal of Taco Bell, I’d almost certainly go for the Caramel Apple Empanada, which rules.

Katy Perry shows remarkable dedication to eating at Taco Bell

(Getty Images)

This is so awesome: Katy Perry celebrated her No. 3 ranking on Forbes magazine’s annual Celebrity 100 list by eating Taco Bell. By earning $135 million in 2014, Perry made more money than all entertainers besides Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao. Cosmopolitan reports the important details:

Katy, as is her way, marked the occasion with a trip to Taco Bell for a Crunchwrap Supreme, which is apparently her food of choice during her break from the “Prismatic” tour.

That might just be the coolest thing I have ever heard. You can celebrate any occasion with Taco Bell, really, but there’s obviously something extra special about celebrating your own fabulous wealth with a delicious, $3 Crunchwrap Supreme.

Also: Good order, Katy Perry! Her appreciation for the Crunchwrap Supreme shows a refined Taco Bell palate. If she were just doing it for show, she’d get a Doritos Locos Taco or something similarly attention-grabbing. The Crunchwrap Supreme is excellent but generally unheralded.

Say what you will about Ms. Perry’s music, which isn’t for everybody, but she clearly has her own thing. And part of that thing is Taco Bell, and that’s the part where her thing and my thing and maybe your thing all overlap in the Venn Diagram.

Her commitment to spectacle is also pretty impressive, and loving Taco Bell definitely works with that. Taco Bell is a celebration. Obviously Katy Perry recognizes it.

As for the Grilled Stuffed Nacho…

(TacoBell.com)

I skipped reviewing the Grilled Stuffed Nacho when it returned to the Taco Bell menu because it’s not really a new thing. But I ordered a Beefy Nacho Loaded Griller at my local restaurant and instead got a Grilled Stuffed Nacho, so here goes:

There’s no good reason the Grilled Stuffed Nacho should even exist. Practically everything inside it can also be found in the aforementioned Beefy Nacho Loaded Griller, and the latter features far, far better ingredient distribution and construction.

The flattened, triangular shape of the Grilled Stuff Nacho nearly guarantees that you will never enjoy all of the ingredients in a single bite, because the item simply does not boast enough depth to contain seasoned beef, nacho cheese, sour cream and crunchy red strips in any one area. Also, it requires the tortilla be spread so thin that the entire thing falls apart about midway through, with whatever ingredient you’re at when it does spilling out onto your lap and/or the table at Taco Bell.

Maybe the Grilled Stuffed Nacho moves the advertising needle more than the Beefy Nacho Loaded Griller, but I trust that you are an educated and distinguishing Taco Bell consumer, in large part because you’re about 800 words deep into a post titled This Week in Taco Bell. So I believe you are good enough to know better than to fall for a gimmick when greatness is available. Your pants will thank you.

Del Taco making moves

(AP PHOTO)

This Fortune magazine article about Del Taco mostly focuses on a bunch of business stuff I’ll never understand, but there are a couple of important takeaways:

1) Del Taco, one of Taco Bell’s competitors, is eying expansion. The article says the company currently has 550 restaurants in 16 states but wants to grow to 2,000 restaurants. And hey, keep your eyes on that prize, Del Taco. This Week in Taco Bell happens to prefer Taco Bell, but thoroughly supports diversity in available Mexican-inspired American fast food restaurants. It doesn’t have to be an either/or thing, you know.

2) This is the big one: Apparently Levy Acquisition Corp., whose sole subsidiary is Del Taco, is now using “TACO” as its stock ticker symbol. That is so good. How did no one claim “TACO” before this? I don’t even mean like Taco Bell or Chipotle, here. Literally every stock would be better off for having the ticker name “TACO.”

Like if you were some dude at some bank in charge of coming up with your ticker symbol — and again, I really have no idea how this works — why would you ever go with an abbreviation of your bank’s name instead of “TACO?” What are people going to remember better, something random like BHAC, or something that is TACO? You blew it, guy.

(As it turns out, BHAC — which I typed out at random 00 is the symbol for something called Barington/Hilco Acquisition Corp, a perfect example of a company that would be better represented by “TACO.”)

I would be, like, a billion times more likely to invest in any stock if its ticker symbol were TACO. Now I might start watching random financial news shows just to watch the bottom scroll so I can giggle when TACO streams across.