Letterman farewell is Top 10 affair

It was a warm welcome for David Letterman's farewell Wednesday night, although four of five living presidents, echoing Gerald Ford on video as the show opened, expressed relief that "our long national nightmare is over."

His retirement, after 33 years in late night and 6,028 broadcasts, was a momentous event in TV that only a few hundred witnessed in person but millions more will watch as the end of an era.

"It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get the Tonight Show," he joked as he began his opening monologue after sustained applause.

He addressed questions about his future plans: "When people ask, 'What are you going to do when you retire,' he said, 'My God, I'm going to be the new face of Scientology." And he promised bandleader Paul Shaffer he "will be debuting our Las Vegas act with white tigers."

Letterman was somewhat emotional, but not teary, in his last show. He screened a tribute from The Simpsons, with Maggie playing with blocks that spelled "Worldwide Pants," the name of his production company. And he showed a joke clip from Wheel of Fortune, in which the puzzle solution was, "Good riddance to David Letterman."

He played a fan-favorite remote segment from 1996, when he worked the drive-through at a Taco Bell, and a montage that showed him interacting with kids. And there was a clip of a day in the life of Letterman, echoing a similar Johnny Carson finale bit, that began with his early-morning arrival at the Ed Sullivan Theater.

The tuxedo-clad Foo Fighters, a favorite band, played "Everlong," the song he also requested when he returned from heart-bypass surgery in 2000.

And then it was time to call it a night, after an extended 80-minute goodbye.

Otherwise, the guest list was limited to his signature Top 10 segment. But what a lineup. Here, in the final list, are the "Top 10 things I've always wanted to say to Dave:"

10. Alec Baldwin: "Of all the talk shows, yours is the most geographically convenient to my home."

9. Barbara Walters: "Did you know you wear the same cologne as Muammar Gaddafi?"

8. Steve Martin: Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity...and a mistake."

7. Jerry Seinfeld: "I have no idea what I'll do when you go off the air. You know what, I just thought of something: I'll be fine."

6. Jim Carrey: "Honestly Dave, I've always found you to be a bit of an over-actor." (He gesticulated wildly).

5. Chris Rock: "I'm just glad your show is being given to another white guy." (Dave: "You know, I had nothing to do with that.")

4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale." (Seinfeld smirks.)

3. Peyton Manning: "Dave, you are to comedy what I am to comedy."

2. Tina Fey: "Thanks for finally proving men can be funny."

1. Bill Murray: "Dave, I'll never have the money I owe you."