After 'reality check,' Josh Hamilton makes joyful return to baseball
CLEVELAND - Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton woke up in the fetal position Monday, still fully clothed, even wearing his dress shoes.
It was 1 in the morning.
He was wide awake, and starving.
Go ahead, you try getting a good night's sleep when you are 13 hours away from playing a game you wondered would ever come, and on the heels of one of the most turbulent periods of your life.
It had been 71/2 months since he last stepped on a major league field, but it sure seemed like a lifetime ago Monday as Hamilton returned to baseball and made
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his 2015 big-league debut at Progressive Field.
Perhaps it wasn't the performance Hollywood would have scripted - hitless in three at-bats with two strikeouts and a misplayed ball in the outfield - but Hamilton was too elated to care, particularly with the Rangers winning their sixth game in a row, 10-8, over the Cleveland Indians.
He kicked himself for taking a bad route and not catching Jason Kipnis' line drive in the second inning, and was too antsy at the plate, but not even the scattered fans who chanted, "Just Say No!,'' were going to diminish the privilege of wearing a major-league uniform again.
"It was a lot of fun,'' said Hamilton, who last played with the Rangers on Oct. 5, 2012. "It was exciting, man. I look forward to more of them.''
The alcohol and drug relapse during the offseason, the tumultuous breakup with the Los Angeles Angels and trade back to the Rangers, and the divorce and child custody conflict with his wife seemed to fade the moment he put on his uniform again.
"I've kind of been under a microscope my whole life, really," Hamilton said. "It's a reality check. You have to grow up. You have to live your life differently, make decisions differently."
Hamilton, 34, has four daughters who live with their mother, Katie. He wants to see them again. He wants to be a great father for them. He may be back playing the game he loves, but when asked if his four daughters would be watching his game on TV, he had no idea. The divorce proceedings apparently have halted communication.
Sure, maybe you can blame the relapse on troubles at home, but Hamilton certainly made it clear Monday he was taking full responsibility for his actions.
"I'm not saying I'm not a responsible guy, but you look at life a little differently and you make decisions a little differently," Hamilton said.
"You're making them for kids and for life after baseball."
There's hardly a soul in baseball who doesn't want to see Hamilton, who has three years remaining on his contract, perform well. Sure, the days of hitting 40 homers and driving in 130 runs are gone. He likely will never be an All-Star again.
Still, he can be a productive player and, most important, a productive person in society, resisting the temptation of drug use that has tormented him for 15 years.
"Life after baseball is very important," Hamilton said. "That's why I've made some decisions. I want to be able to get out of baseball what I can. I know I have only a few years left."
If Hamilton were a jerk or a cancer in the clubhouse, this would be different, of course. You wouldn't see veteran All-Stars Adrian Beltre and Prince Fielder bearhugging him and joking with him. You wouldn't have seen general manager Jon Daniels convincing ownership that his return would not be the best for his career, but for his well-being.
And you wouldn't have even seen the opposing Indians players openly rooting for his success.
If Monday's reaction from the crowd of 13,614 was any indication, maybe he'll be treated with compassion. Hanging out for a couple of innings with the fans standing above the left-field railing at Progressive Field — wearing everything from Johnny Manziel T-shirts to Kenny Lofton jerseys, and, yes, some whose legs and arms were covered with tattoos just like Hamilton — there wasn't a single nasty comment toward Hamilton.
"You're always going to have one or two people,'' Hamilton said, "but other that, it's always good to see people have good things to say.''
Maybe everyone can understand this is an addiction Hamilton will deal with the rest of his life. It's not someone using a performance-enhancing drug to get an illegal edge during his career.
"I'm so happy for him, because he's going through a lot," Cleveland center fielder Michael Bourn told USA TODAY Sports. "If you've ever known someone that has gone through that, it's a real-life struggle.
"It's a life-long battle. It's every day, and nobody knows what he's going through except for him.
"So I wish the best for him, not just baseball, but for life."
Hamilton realizes he'll always be watched as long as he plays.
"Nobody expects me to come back and be that old me, but I'm expecting it out of myself," Hamilton said. "Having the slip and having to go through the arbitration process in New York, and then trying to get things situated with the Angels to get somewhere I could play, it's been a huge, long process.
"I have a lot of good people working hard for me to make it happen that I could get back here and play."
Those are the people, Hamilton vows, that he'd love to repay.
"He's had it rough for a while," said Indians outfielder David Murphy, a former teammate with Texas. "His time with the Angels didn't work out, but he's come back to a place where he had the best years of his career.
"Hopefully it can reignite that spark and he can finish his career strong, the way he started it.
"I think we'd all love to see it."
GALLERY: Josh Hamilton, through the years
