Digital Life: Marriage proposal by Instagram
USA TODAY columnist Steven Petrow offers advice about digital etiquette.
Q: I'm thinking about asking my girlfriend to marry me by posting a photo of us on Instagram, with the caption being my actual proposal: "Will you marry me?" I think it's really unique and would be a great way to pop the question. My best friend isn't so sure. Have you heard of this kind of proposal before?
– A.R., Arlington, VA
A: By "this kind of proposal," I assume you mean a very public one. Of course, the answer is yes. For decades, if not longer, (mostly) grooms-to-be have secured time on the Times Square JumboTron or on the giant screens in sports stadiums around the country to flash their love, sometimes even arranging for the "Kiss-cam" to broadcast their beloved's surprise (and, with any luck, acceptance).
This public approach has gotten a new twist in our digital era, with proposals taking place on Facebook. YouTube, and, yes, Instagram. Here's one of my favorite marriage proposals, a real tear jerker of a video posted on Facebook. As one poster commented: "PERFECT." If you want to make a big statement, this may be the right approach.
But let's be real. Going public has inherent risks, and it's no surprise that the search term "Facebook marriage proposal gone wrong" retrieves more than 300,000 results. That's a lot. What if your intended's answer is: "I'm not sure?" Or even worse, "Sorry, no." I saw an online proposal that ended with this cautionary note to his beloved: "If you do say no, I'm going to look like a huge fool on the Internet." Fortunately, the answer was "Yes!"
On a personal note, I can tell you the story of my friend Neil Parris, who created an Instagram account called @thestoryofjennaandneil as a way to propose to his then girlfriend, Jenna Caine. All's well that ends well. The couple married last year and as Mrs. Parris told me this week: "Most everyone loves Instagram (specifically me!), and who doesn't love a great proposal story? Neil married those two things together to create the perfect, Gen Y proposal!"
The bottom line: If you think your beloved will go for the big gesture and is almost assured to say yes, go for it. If not, listen to your best friend. He may know something you don't.
Agree or disagree with my advice? Let me know in the comment section.
Submit your question to Steven at stevenpetrow@earthlink.net. You can also follow Steven on Twitter: @StevenPetrow. Or like him on Facebook at facebook.com/stevenpetrow.