Advertisement

Tiger Woods quotes Marshawn Lynch after career-worst 82

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

Tiger Woods is back, as long as we’re only talking in the tangible, material sense. The golf star is in the Phoenix Open playing his first competitive tournament since August. So, in that way, Tiger has returned.

But if we’re talking in the abstract and metaphysical, the Tiger Woods we’ve come to know is so far gone he’s barely recognizable. On Friday, Tiger shot the worst round of his career, carding a 44-38 for an embarrassing 82. That’s one shot worse than the 81 he shot in the infamous British Open windstorm in 2002. Given that he basically played that round in a hurricane, this round was at least 10 times worse. Here was Tiger’s scorecard from his first nine holes in Friday’s second round (he started on the back):

Screen Shot 2015-01-30 at 12.26.37 PM

 

Par, bogey, par, par, double, triple, par, bogey, bogey: “Good” for an eight-over 44. That’s tied for Tiger’s worst nine holes of his career. That triple-bogey 8 on the 15th hole was just his second snowman on a par 5 since 2000. (The other was the infamous Masters shot that hit the pin and earned a retroactive penalty. So, really, this was his first actual triple bogey.)

You know how the ticker will run through the top 10 at a tournament and then, if neither of the big 3 are in (Tiger, Phil Mickelson, Rory McIlroy) the ticker will give you an update on where the most famous players are? Here was the ticker after Tiger’s first nine. It gives you a true sense of how far away he was:

ImpishTepidAnchovy ‘

Ooof.

Tiger was +10 at the turn, but didn’t do himself many favors on his second nine, finishing with a 38 that forced him to turn in an embarrassing 82, 21 shots off the lead and 12 from the likely cut-line. It was the first time in his career he’s missed back-to-back cuts. Tiger’s day was summed up when he missed a short par putt on his final hole. It was as ugly as can be.

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

The +13 left Tiger in last place — 132nd place — through the second round of the tournament. The player in 129th had five shots on him. The player in 131st was three shots clear of Tiger when Woods left the course. Depending on what happens with those golfers, Tiger is likely to finish last in a PGA event for the first time ever.

At least he had a sense of humor about it. When showing up to his press conference, he mimicked Super Bowl week pariah Marshawn Lynch by saying he showed up just so he didn’t get fined.

 

That’s gold, Tiger.

“It’s golf, we all have days like this,” Tiger told reporters after his round.

But not you, Tiger.

From grabbing majors by the handful, to winning a U.S. Open on a broken leg to competing for dead last with Q-school grads. Where have your gone Tiger Eldrick Woods? Golf nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

More Golf