Robbie Rogers reflects on journey he wishes didn't matter

LOS ANGELES – Robbie Rogers will this weekend become the first openly gay male athlete to play for a championship in an American pro sport, the latest step in a journey that he wishes didn't matter.

Rogers will start for the Los Angeles Galaxy in Sunday's MLS Cup final against the New England Revolution, accepting of the fact that he is a trailblazer yet not necessarily comfortable with it.

"What you hope for is that one day it won't be an issue either way, that it won't be seen as something different or surprising when a gay athlete is competing for a championship," Rogers told USA Today Sports. "Right now it still is."

While the decisions of former NBA center Jason Collins and NFL hopeful Michael Sam to reveal their sexuality generated far more airtime, neither is currently on a roster. Rogers is a major contributor on Major League Soccer's highest-profile team, as the Galaxy seeks a third title in four years.

Rogers won the MLS Cup at the Stub Hub Center in Carson, Calif. once before, in 2008, when he was a 21-year-old member of the Columbus Crew. It was a profound moment for him, as he realized while sitting in a champagne-drenched locker room that he could not fully appreciate the experience, given that his sexual orientation remained a secret.

"I couldn't enjoy all the emotion," Rogers said. "I couldn't understand why I wasn't happy, because it should have been the best moment of my career at that point and one of the best moments of my life. It was because I had a secret and I wasn't living my life the way I wanted. I was depressed."

A promising talent since his early teens, Rogers' career kicked on, but not to the extent he would have liked. He was among the final seven cuts for the 2010 World Cup roster and despite scoring the first goal of Jurgen Klinsmann's reign as United States head coach against Mexico in 2011, struggled for regular playing time after moving to Leeds United of the English Championship later that year.

In February 2013, after a few glasses of wine and a moment of clarity, Rogers posted a statement on his personal blog, announcing that "I'm a soccer player, I'm Christian, and I'm gay." He simultaneously retired from professional soccer, unable to contemplate continuing his career after "outing myself."

In England, only one top-level player has come out as gay. Justin Fashanu revealed his sexuality in 1990, received appalling treatment from fans, fellow players and legendary coach Brian Clough, and eventually hung himself in a storage unit in 1998.

"When I retired I thought that was it," Rogers said. "I didn't see a way where I could come back as an openly gay athlete and play. But then things started to change and fell into place in a way I couldn't have dreamed of."

Rogers moved back to Los Angeles early last year and was soon invited to train with the Galaxy. He says he quickly felt accepted, with Landon Donovan becoming a close friend and confidante, and when head coach Bruce Arena expressed a wish to get Rogers on the team, the Galaxy negotiated a trade with the Chicago Fire, which owned his MLS rights.

On May 26, 2013, Rogers made his debut as a late substitute against Seattle and received a standing ovation and the full support of his new colleagues.

"Robbie is just one of us," Donovan said. "He is another player and a great human being. We accept him for who he is and for the most important thing, which is what he brings to this team."

Rogers has played well enough to land a new multi-year contract to keep him in L.A., which he says is the only location where he would have considered returning to play. His mother and sister, rocks of support since his decision to go public, are nearby, as is his boyfriend Greg Berlanti, a film and television producer.

The only factor that has surprised and disappointed Rogers since his return is what he sees as the continuing slow pace of change in attitudes towards gay athletes.

"Things are moving but it is at a glacier pace," Rogers said. "It is a really slow process and that is a little different to how I thought it would be. With Jason and Michael and myself, I thought by now we would see more athletes come out and feel comfortable enough to do so."

Rogers knows better than anyone that such decisions are incredibly personal, yet he attributes the reluctance of more gay athletes to express their sexuality to old-school locker room stereotypes, though he believes offensive chatter about gay people remains a problem in pro sports.

"Honestly, that is the biggest thing standing in the way of more athletes coming out," Rogers added. "Think about it, you hear that kind of thing and you think, 'How can I possibly tell these people that I'm gay, and carry on playing. It is not going to happen.' I don't personally experience what it is like in other locker rooms because I am in a place where there is nothing like that. But I feel like it must be a part of it in American sports."

Rogers decided to come back to soccer to "stop being a coward" and to provide an example to youngsters struggling with the same issues he faced growing up. Forging a career is part of it; being successful is even more effective.

"There has always been this old perception that great athletes are macho, that they talk a certain way and they live a certain way," Rogers said. "Things are moving the right way – and winning is a good way to change peoples' minds."