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Digital Life: What happened to voice mail?

Steven Petrow
Special for USA TODAY
Although fewer people are using voice mail, there are times where leaving a voice message is appropriate.

USA TODAY columnist Steven Petrow offers advice about digital etiquette.

Q: Why don't people listen to their voice mail anymore? It's annoying when I leave someone a message only to have them call me back without even listening to it. Some messages are just too long or important to communicate in a text.

— Jessica, Los Angeles

A: "What's voice mail?" a friend of mine said half-mockingly, acknowledging that this form of communication is now more than passé. Frankly, you've hit a hot button of my own. Unless you're my mom or dad, or you're one of my two friends without a smartphone, I really, really do not want to listen to a long-winded voice mail from you — nor do I need a short one that simply says, "Call me back" without giving me even a hint of what's up.

So while I understand your frustration, I encourage you to get with the times and accept that most people don't want to listen to voice messages. Most people don't even want to leave them, either — who wants to go through that labyrinth? First you must make your way through "Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice-messaging system" (I know this already!), then you must listen to either a robot's rendition of your phone number (why is that necessary?) or the recipient's personal greeting (which can be painfully long). Then you wait for the beep. Finally you get to speak.

On the receiving end, it's not any more efficient. Frankly, It's much easier for me to read and reply to a text or an e-mail than it is for me to dial my voice mail number, enter my password, listen to the robot tell me how many messages I have, then press 2 to listen. While I don't want to encourage any more multitasking, or replying to messages during meetings, dinner, or at the movies, in general a text is preferable to a voice mail (at least to those under a certain age).

We young folks (as in, not downright elderly) are the same crowd that has started to embrace Google Voice, a service that will transcribe all of your voice mails into text messages. As with any voice transcription service, some translate better than others. Even without Google Voice, more and more of my friends and colleagues now have outgoing messages like this one:

"Hi, this is Mike. I'm too busy to listen to your voice mail so if you want to reach me please text me at this number or e-mail me at mike@toobusy.com."

That might sound just a bit off-putting to some, but at least it's honest and spares callers having to repeat their message when Mike calls them. And if your message is too long for a text, it's too long for a voice mail as well.

So, when is a voice mail preferable? If you have friends or family members who aren't members of the digerati, call their landline and leave a voice message. If you need to relay sad news, for example about an illness or a death, leave a brief message saying you have difficult news and ask for a return call; there are times when the emotion and inflection in our voices actually matter. On a lighter note, I love listening to the birthday messages I receive every year on my phone, including the one from my favorite "great aunt," now 98, who kazoos her annual greeting. Like the perfect handwritten letter, I've kept all of Denise's birthday voice mail shout-outs.

Agree or disagree with my advice? Let me know in the comments section.

Submit your question to Steven at stevenpetrow@earthlink.net. You can also follow Steven on Twitter: @StevenPetrow. Or like him on Facebook at facebook.com/stevenpetrow.

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