Punchlines: Apple made record profit. What else is new?

Is it any wonder Apple was able to make record profits in its first quarter? The company has a can't lose formula, according to one comic: create a cool, but incredibly high priced product that breaks down every eight months.

Another comic suggested why Apple won't give every American $556, even though it made enough from sales of gadgets like the iPhone that it can afford to share that much wealth. Find out why in today's Punchlines.

Take a look at our favorite jokes from last night's late-night lineup, then vote for yours in the quick poll to the right. Watching from your smartphone or tablet? Then visit opinion.usatoday.com to cast your ballot.

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